two brothers, one day

I've only a few minutes ago gotten back into my house.
I've been locked out since just past 5 PM. I had thought I was going to usher tonight for the Bolshoi Ballet's presentation of "The Taming Of The Shrew", a film at the Lucas Theatre.
Instead, as soon as I my front door closed behind me, I knew I had locked myself out. I checked my right front pocket three times, just to be sure it was empty.
It was.
Fortunately, I had my phone in my left front pocket. I called Smitty at his house... no answer, so I told the machine what I needed. Then I tried what I thought was his cell phone. No answer, no ability to leave a message. I texted Mary, in case he was with her, then waited for a response... on my porch...with no shawl and the evening cooling rapidly.
Drats.
I texted the bfe, as he still has a key. No response.
Drats.
I texted my first niece, as she has a key. She and her German had been at the Jacksonville Zoo and were just leaving.
Drats.
I texted the peace Guy, in case he might be in town. Nope, not this weekend.
Drats.
I texted NJ Joe and Carolyn, hoping one of them was at the Lucas. Joe was not, but he did contact Katie, the House Manager that night and let her know of my situation. No response from Carolyn.
Drats.
Mary called me! They were at dinner and were on their salad course, but they would be right to me afterward. I told them to take their time, that I was still hoping to hear back from the physicist.
And I waited, hands shoved deeply in pants pockets, back against the sun-warmed bricks of my front porch, watching the darkening sky, glad to have my porch light on.
I knew what had caused me to forget my rule to have my keys in the door before closing it.
I had been thinking again about my abruptly-ended visit with Tony earlier and the change in my plans.
Knowing I was assigned to usher tonight, and that I had told Tony I would come visit him at the Transitional Center this afternoon, I had devised the 'perfect' plan. Visit my youngest brother until that time ended, bounce over the the Jepson Center until it closed, and then head over to the Lucas. If I timed it right, I could maybe even have an ice cream before my shift began!
And so I showed up at CTC, dressed in my ushering garb, hair in a side ponytail. Tony was surprised to see me dressed up and commented on how nice I looked.
(smile)
Sadly, the visit went straight downhill after that. We were talking about addictions, and he waxed rhapsodic about how he got started on crack and what a rush that drug was.
Say what?
I talked about nicotine being a hard drug to give up, too. That's when he looked at me and said, "I just can't believe the stupid stuff that comes out of your mouth sometimes."
Seriously.
And something inside me snapped.
That derisive comment was just one of several he had lobbed in my direction since he's returned to Savannah, but it was definitely the last one I wanted to ever hear.
I very calmly told him, "Tony, I'm leaving. No one speaks to me like that and I'm not going to put up with it from you. You've been rude to me several times and I'm done for the day."
He was shocked, but he rose, returned my hug, and then stood in the visitation doorway while I retrieved my drivers license and signed out.
I think Asst. Superintendent Locke was also surprised that I was leaving so soon.
He asked nothing, though.
Smart man.
He had led the Visitation Orientation on Friday and spoken to me and Smitty and Tony afterward. He has been helping these men transition for more than twenty years and probably has a very good idea of which will be successful... and which will be part of the 67% returning to prison.
I'd like to have an honest talk with him about Tony.

I had such a talk with Smitty when he and Mary came to my rescue tonight.
i thank You, God, not only for the rescue, but for the two of us siblings talking frankly about the youngest brother.
Smitty definitely feels that Tony has been 'pushing' us since his return to this town. Smitty had rushed around last week to the stores, buying him clothes and sundries and work boots and a cell phone, even though Tony was not supposed to be able to get any of that stuff until he moved from Phase One to Phase Two. That transition was to occur after twenty-eight days at the CTC, but Tony was sure he would be transitioned early.
Tony was wrong and Smitty was quite put out that he had taken time away from work - and spent three hundred dollars - on stuff which would sit in a box until the end of the month.
Of course, that's if Tony proceeds on schedule.
My concern is the anger and bitterness I saw in the photo of him upon his arrival at Autry, more than a month ago. That anger and bitterness is still there, tainting his attitude... threatening to spoil his future.
Please, God, give him strength to ask for help with that anger.
Now is the time, with the resources and people right there at the CTC.
Please, God, also give patience to all of us.
This has been a long journey and we are all anxious for it to draw to a favorable close.
i thank You, God, for the patience - and the love - to have traveled this far.