toffee for valentine's day

I bet you're thinking I mean candy, aren't you?
True, what I'm referring to was very sweet
- and loyal
- and talented
- and so dear to me that when she died, I was utterly inconsolable.
She had the coloring of the caramelized treat, but with heavy black eyeliner and and black mottling on her back and tail.
She also had deep chocolate eyes that could speak volumes.
Toffee had become my dog while I was stationed in Panama. A real dog, she stood about knee height; not too big, certainly not puny. She had traveled with my first husband and I when we PCS'ed back to the 'States, though she had to be quarantined for some period of time (two weeks? three?).
By the time we had finished our visit with his folks in Oregon, she had been released and we all three moved on to Pensacola for the ten-month "C" school. His vision of our marriage had changed after the trip to his parents, so we knew before the first day of school that we would be getting a divorce. We remained friends, though, and rented a two-bedroom house so we wouldn't be relegated to the barracks on post.
Such a nice neighborhood we had there! Toffee and I would go for frequent long walks that lasted for two hours or more. Life was good!
Then October came, with its cooler evenings.
She loved those!!!
Having grown up in Panama, she had never been around temperatures any lower than 65 F. Now, she was about four years old and had 50-degree weather for her frolics!
She would race ahead of me on our walks, then race back, eyes laughing, as if to say "Look, mom! I'm not even hot and panting!"
That must have been too much for her subtropical heart.
One morning, we woke up to her still body stretched out on the kitchen floor, dead at some time during the night.
I was inconsolable.
During class, at each break, I would go around the corner of the building and sob, getting it out of my system so I could sit through the next lesson.

In February of 1981, we were both finally done with school, done with Pensacola, and done with the divorce.
I was also done with having a dog as a companion.
The heartbreak was too devastating for me.

Today was to have been "Tina Tuesday" with Kevin, but he was ill.
Yes, after a month-long lapse, that is back on again, as of last Tuesday. Hooray! We had dinner at BWW and then watched "Rogue One" again, this time just the two of us. It was almost like doing a reboot of our tradition. Very nice!
Then, on Thursday, we saw "John Wick: Chapter 2" after dining at Sakura. Best mental junk food in town! Even better as it featured a mute who carried a silencer-equipped gun.
(Get it? Love those puns!)
As I was saying, today I was solo.
That meant I could see whatever movie I wanted!!!
So I saw "A Dog's Purpose", one I had wanted to watch ever since the very first previews appeared for it.
Yes, even though I knew it would make me cry.
(smile)
Did I cry?
Of course I did!
And I thought of my smart and beautiful Toffee.
I wondered if she had been able to come back for multiple lives in different bodies, but with her spirit intact, like BaileyBaileyBailey had.
I hoped that if she was treated to having multiple existences, that those were good lives with people who loved her as much as I had.
I wondered if she would remember the different whistles I would use and what they meant, if she would still know how to crack open boiled peanuts, if she would still have a fondness for grapes...
I wondered if I would recognize her inside a different skin...

Memories of loving, and being loved...
what a blessed Valentine's Day this has been.

i thank You, God.