whadda ya got?

That was Lisa Simpson't response when asked what she was rebelling against.
I know whereof she speaks.
But I also know one specific thing I have been fighting.
Change in my eating habits.
I have Weight Watchers to thank for that, both the good and the bad.
You see, on March 3rd, my Weekly Smart Points decreased from 42 to 35.
A drop of SEVEN POINTS.
On the face of it, that doesn't sound like much, but let me tell you what SEVEN POINTS represents.
Four cups of movie popcorn - that means three nights with no treat.
A bowl of cereal with milk before bedtime on two evenings.
Chips and salsa on dinner out, and a WW hummus snack one afternoon.
Each of those costs about seven points.
I rebelled.
Of course, that caused my weight to slide back up one pound...and I regained my WSP of 42.
That next week, I actually tried to only use 35 points for my weekly allowance.
Nope.
I could not do it.
That's not quite right. Let's rephrase that.
I WOULD NOT.
Trying to cut those seven points out led to me eating MORE.
Fairly deliberately, too.

Three weeks ago, when I was forced to attend the early Saturday morning meeting, I admitted to Kelly and the group that I had been rebelling.
I admitted that the progress of my weight loss had been good enough that I had lost seven weekly points...and that loss had led to me feeling deprived.
The group was aghast that I had lost those seven weekly points.
Well, I take that back, too.
Those who have so few points in their WSP that they have not experienced a change gasped.
Those who are grossly overweight like me didn't even blink an eyelash about it.
They've already had that issue to wrap their head around.
You would think they might have spoken up with some words of advice, but they did not.
Sigh.

After that meeting, the thought occurred to me that I had been missing some of my favorite foods.
Dinners of just endless tortilla chips, scooping up RoTel laced with cheddar cheese...
pizza mounded high with meats, meats, and more meats...
fried chicken fingers with waffle fries...
baklava with a side of bacon.
Sigh.

Well, I resolved that the chips and RoTel (as salsa) was making a comeback.
And you know what I found?
The months of making better food choices had made an impact.
I had determined that I would do as I once did, eating the combo, with shredded cheddar generously added to the can of spicy tomatoes with lime juice and cilantro, until it was gone.
Each bite would be accompanied by crunchy, crispy tortilla chips, of course.
Guess what happened?
Well, first, I substituted the fat-free shredded cheddar for the regular variety.
Then, I made sure the chips had at least a little fiber.
However, the most telling mark left by the Weight Watchers philosophy was this: I found myself counting chips.
Counting them, every last one of them, ticking over the mental counter when I reached 14.
Why?
Because fourteen chips with salsa is worth four points.
Even though I was rebelling, I was still being mindful.
Even though I was deliberately eating as I once did, I found I could not eat with that level of sheer abandon anymore.
Sigh.

Today, while out with my Born in the 50's and 60's meetup, that point came home.
We were at Chiriya's, indulging in Thai, and I had opted to not have salad.
I wanted the Kalua Pig and Cabbage!
RRraawwwRRR!
And the conversation around the table turned to addictions...
and Pat, to my right, was a retired cardiosurgery nurse...
and Ed was talking about the six stents in his chest...
and I found myself telling these folks about my ex and about him having two stents placed into his heart just two months after his 39th birthday.
I told them how he had refused to believe he needed to change his eating habits into healthier ones...
I concluded by saying that "you can't eat like a Polish farmer if you don't do Polish farming anymore"...
and I realized how very true that was.
I had been trying to eat like I was still the 18-year-old dancer in my head.
What is that Einstein quote?
Oh, yeah.
"Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results is insanity."

Yeah.
I am certainly guilty of doing that.
I'll keep trying to do better.
At lunch, I ate with chopsticks (partly to slow me down)and I ended up with enough left over for lunch on Tuesday...
maybe with a nice salad, too.

At least I know the lessons are having an effect.
(smile)
That means the money has not been wasted on this round of nutritional schooling.
That's a good thing.

i thank You, God.