As I recall, this was the only song Jim Steinman ever wrote that glorified baseball.
Not the game itself - oh, no.
He was taken with the game-play terms that served double duty as sexual innuendo.
I don't know just when those descriptors first were used in that fashion, but I know I grew up knowing the metaphors related to progress on a date.
First base - stealing kisses, maybe even with a bit of tongue action!
Second base - ah, yeah, coppin' a feel and getting under a bra!
Third base - up on top of the mons Venus, aka mounting the mound!
Home - going all the way in for the score!
(smile!)
The year was 1977.
I was 19 years old, in the Navy, on The Pill, and away from home and the responsibility of helping Mama with my three brothers - you better believe I cut loose!
Plus, I was surrounded by men while learning my trade in electronics maintenance!
Life was good...
not that it isn't good, now, even with a pandemic still carryin' on...
but I was young and surrounded by other young people...
all of us glowing like the metal on the edge of a knife...
right?
Damn straight!
(smile!)
Without further ado, here's "Paradise By The Dashboard Light", with Meat Loaf as "him", Ellen Foley as "her", and the baseball play-by-play done by none other than Phil Rizzuto, former shortstop cum sports announcer for forty years for the New York Yankees.
*****
Paradise By The Dashboard Light
him:
I remember every little thing
As if it happened only yesterday
Parking by the lake
And there was not another car in sight
And I never had a girl
Looking any better than you did
And all the kids at school
They were wishing they were me that night
And now our bodies are oh so close and tight
It never felt so good, it never felt so right
And we're glowing like the metal on the edge of a knife
Glowing like the metal on the edge of a knife
C'mon! Hold on tight!
C'mon! Hold on tight!
both:
Thought it's cold and lonely in the deep dark night
I can see paradise by the dashboard light
her:
Ain't no doubt about it
We were doubly blessed
'Cause we were barely seventeen
And we were barely dressed
both:
Ain't no doubt about it
Baby got to go and shout it
Ain't no doubt about it
We were doubly blessed
him:
'Cause we were barely seventeen
And we were barely dressed
Baby doncha hear my heart
You got it drowning out the radio
I've been waiting so long
For you to come along and have some fun
And I gotta let you know
No, you're never gonna regret it
So open up your eyes
I got a big surprise
It'll feel all right
Well I wanna make your motor run
And now our bodies are oh so close and tight
It never felt so good, it never felt so right
And we're glowing like the metal on the edge of a knife
Glowing like the metal on the edge of a knife
C'mon! Hold on tight!
C'mon! Hold on tight!
both:
Though it's cold and lonely in the deep dark night
I can see paradise by the dashboard light
him:
Though it's cold and lonely in the deep dark night
I can see paradise by the dashboard light
Paradise by the dashboard light
both:
You got to do what you can
And let Mother Nature do the rest
Ain't no doubt about it
We were doubly blessed
'Cause we were barely seventeen
And we were barely -
him:
We're gonna go all the way tonight
We're gonna go all the way
And tonight's the night...
We're gonna go all the way tonight
We're gonna go all the way
And tonight's the night...
baseball announcer:
OK, here we go, we got a real pressure cooker going here,
Two down, nobody on, no score, bottom of the ninth,
There's the windup, and there it is, a line shot up the middle,
Look at him go.
This boy can really fly!
He's rounding first and really turning it on now,
he's not letting up at all, he's gonna try for second;
the ball is bobbled out in center, and here comes the throw,
and what a throw!
He's gonna slide in head first, here he comes, he's out!
No, wait, safe - safe at second base, this kid
really makes things happen out there.
Batter steps up to the plate, here's the pitch -
he's going, and what a jump he's got.
He's trying for third, here's the throw, it's in the dirt -
safe at third!
Holy cow, stolen base!
He's taking a pretty big lead out there,
almost daring him to try and pick him off.
The pitcher glances over, winds up, and it's bunted,
bunted down the third base line, the suicide squeeze is on!
Here he comes, squeeze play, it's gonna be close.
Here's the throw, here's the play at the plate -
holy cow, I think he's gonna make it!
her:
Stop right there!
I gotta know right now!
Before we go any further!
Do you love me?
Will you love me forever?
Do you need me?
Will you never leave me?
Will you make me so happy for the rest of my life?
Will you take me away and will you make me your wife?
Do you love me!?
Will you love me forever!?
Do you need me!?
Will you never leave me!?
Will you make me so happy for the rest of my life!?
Will you take me away, will you make me your wife!?
I gotta know right now
Before we go any further
Do you love me!?
Will you love me forever!?
him:
Let me sleep on it
Baby, baby let me sleep on it
Let me sleep on it
And I'll give you an answer in the morning
Let me sleep on it
Baby, baby let me sleep on it
Let me sleep on it
I'll give you an answer in the morning
Let me sleep on it
Baby, baby let me sleep on it
Let me sleep on it
I'll give you an answer in the morning
her:
I gotta know right now!
Do you love me?
Will you love me forever?
Do you need me?
Will you never leave me?
Will you make me so happy for the rest of my life?
Will you take me away, will you make me your wife?
I gotta know right now!
Before we go any further
Do you love me?
And will you love me forever?
What's it gonna be, boy -
come on,
I can wait all night.
What's it gonna be, boy -
yes, or no.
What's it gonna be, boy -
yes -
or -
no?
him:
Let me sleep on it
Baby, baby let me sleep on it
Let me sleep on it
I'll give you an answer in the morning
Let me sleep on it
her:
I gotta know right now!
Will you love me?
Will you love me forever?
him:
Let me sleep on it
her:
Will you love me forever!
him:
I couldn't take it any longer
Lord I was crazed
And when the feeling came upon me
Like a tidal wave
I started swearing to my god and on my mother's grave
That I would love you to the end of time
I swore that I would love you to the end of time!
him:
him:
I remember every little thing
As if it happened only yesterday
Parking by the lake
And there was not another car in sight
And I never had a girl
Looking any better than you did
And all the kids at school
They were wishing they were me that night
And now our bodies are oh so close and tight
It never felt so good, it never felt so right
And we're glowing like the metal on the edge of a knife
Glowing like the metal on the edge of a knife
C'mon! Hold on tight!
C'mon! Hold on tight!
both:
Thought it's cold and lonely in the deep dark night
I can see paradise by the dashboard light
her:
Ain't no doubt about it
We were doubly blessed
'Cause we were barely seventeen
And we were barely dressed
both:
Ain't no doubt about it
Baby got to go and shout it
Ain't no doubt about it
We were doubly blessed
him:
'Cause we were barely seventeen
And we were barely dressed
Baby doncha hear my heart
You got it drowning out the radio
I've been waiting so long
For you to come along and have some fun
And I gotta let you know
No, you're never gonna regret it
So open up your eyes
I got a big surprise
It'll feel all right
Well I wanna make your motor run
And now our bodies are oh so close and tight
It never felt so good, it never felt so right
And we're glowing like the metal on the edge of a knife
Glowing like the metal on the edge of a knife
C'mon! Hold on tight!
C'mon! Hold on tight!
both:
Though it's cold and lonely in the deep dark night
I can see paradise by the dashboard light
him:
Though it's cold and lonely in the deep dark night
I can see paradise by the dashboard light
Paradise by the dashboard light
both:
You got to do what you can
And let Mother Nature do the rest
Ain't no doubt about it
We were doubly blessed
'Cause we were barely seventeen
And we were barely -
him:
We're gonna go all the way tonight
We're gonna go all the way
And tonight's the night...
We're gonna go all the way tonight
We're gonna go all the way
And tonight's the night...
baseball announcer:
OK, here we go, we got a real pressure cooker going here,
Two down, nobody on, no score, bottom of the ninth,
There's the windup, and there it is, a line shot up the middle,
Look at him go.
This boy can really fly!
He's rounding first and really turning it on now,
he's not letting up at all, he's gonna try for second;
the ball is bobbled out in center, and here comes the throw,
and what a throw!
He's gonna slide in head first, here he comes, he's out!
No, wait, safe - safe at second base, this kid
really makes things happen out there.
Batter steps up to the plate, here's the pitch -
he's going, and what a jump he's got.
He's trying for third, here's the throw, it's in the dirt -
safe at third!
Holy cow, stolen base!
He's taking a pretty big lead out there,
almost daring him to try and pick him off.
The pitcher glances over, winds up, and it's bunted,
bunted down the third base line, the suicide squeeze is on!
Here he comes, squeeze play, it's gonna be close.
Here's the throw, here's the play at the plate -
holy cow, I think he's gonna make it!
her:
Stop right there!
I gotta know right now!
Before we go any further!
Do you love me?
Will you love me forever?
Do you need me?
Will you never leave me?
Will you make me so happy for the rest of my life?
Will you take me away and will you make me your wife?
Do you love me!?
Will you love me forever!?
Do you need me!?
Will you never leave me!?
Will you make me so happy for the rest of my life!?
Will you take me away, will you make me your wife!?
I gotta know right now
Before we go any further
Do you love me!?
Will you love me forever!?
him:
Let me sleep on it
Baby, baby let me sleep on it
Let me sleep on it
And I'll give you an answer in the morning
Let me sleep on it
Baby, baby let me sleep on it
Let me sleep on it
I'll give you an answer in the morning
Let me sleep on it
Baby, baby let me sleep on it
Let me sleep on it
I'll give you an answer in the morning
her:
I gotta know right now!
Do you love me?
Will you love me forever?
Do you need me?
Will you never leave me?
Will you make me so happy for the rest of my life?
Will you take me away, will you make me your wife?
I gotta know right now!
Before we go any further
Do you love me?
And will you love me forever?
What's it gonna be, boy -
come on,
I can wait all night.
What's it gonna be, boy -
yes, or no.
What's it gonna be, boy -
yes -
or -
no?
him:
Let me sleep on it
Baby, baby let me sleep on it
Let me sleep on it
I'll give you an answer in the morning
Let me sleep on it
her:
I gotta know right now!
Will you love me?
Will you love me forever?
him:
Let me sleep on it
her:
Will you love me forever!
him:
I couldn't take it any longer
Lord I was crazed
And when the feeling came upon me
Like a tidal wave
I started swearing to my god and on my mother's grave
That I would love you to the end of time
I swore that I would love you to the end of time!
him:
So now I'm praying for the end of time
To hurry up and arrive
'Cause if I gotta spend another minute with you
I don't think that I can really survive
I'll never break my promise or forget my vow
But God only knows what I can do right now
I'm praying for the end of time
It's all that I can do
Praying for the end of time,
So I can end my time with you!
It was long ago and it was far away
And it was so much better that it is today
her:
It never felt so good
It never felt so right
And we were glowing like
A metal on the edge of a knife
To hurry up and arrive
'Cause if I gotta spend another minute with you
I don't think that I can really survive
I'll never break my promise or forget my vow
But God only knows what I can do right now
I'm praying for the end of time
It's all that I can do
Praying for the end of time,
So I can end my time with you!
It was long ago and it was far away
And it was so much better that it is today
her:
It never felt so good
It never felt so right
And we were glowing like
A metal on the edge of a knife
*****
One last note:
not once does she say anything about her loving him...
not once,
nor does she say anything about even liking him...
not once;
she just makes demands that he "love her forever" and marry her.
How wacky is that?
Tit for tat, I say!
(smile!)
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