snap to my rescue!!!

I've been thinking about applying for nutrition aid for a couple of years, but didn't.

Was I embarrassed about needing to do so?

No, that wasn't the issue.

Was I concerned about looking for a financial hand from the government?

Nope, that wasn't on my mind, either.

Was I possible thinking they might deny me the benefit?

Ding, ding, ding!

Yes, honestly, that was what I didn't want: to be told "No".

However, after spending time in Kissimmee with my first niece and seeing first-hand the many financial benefits of her having SNAP, I finally took the leap...

and they caught me with open arms!

Mine is called Senior SNAP - Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program for those who are 60 years of age or older.

Not only was I approved, but the card has already arrived!

It even has funds already on it, ready to use!

I applied online in mid-September, and the approval is dated from that first application date, so the funds cover part of last month, plus this month in full.

i thank You, God!

 

I had just bought groceries before Hurricane Helene took out the power.

Having to throw out all that new food was so very hard on me.

I even used two bags of ice to try to save some of it, but to no avail.

Plus, all the other stuff in the fridge - sauces, dressings, minced garlic and herbs - all that extra stuff needed in bits and pieces for making a meal - all that had to be trashed, too.

Then there were the bags of frozen vegetables and the pork loin in the freezer... 

as well as two pork chops from the Texas Roadhouse Family Meal deal in early September... 

and an entire box of Outshine popsicles that had not even yet been opened.

I found out on October 1st that I was approved.

I fully expected that the hurricane would have delayed the processing of the EBT card, but maybe it didn't, as the card was waiting for me after my luncheon with Yvonne and her new neighbor, Toni.

Yvonne has been taking her around to local places, as Toni is from Long Beach, CA.

They've already done Kayak Kafe and Spanky's, but my fellow Armstrong Pirate didn't know about soul food at Geneva's!

This was my first time to the new location, off Skidaway instead of Victory, so I didn't know that water wasn't free.

But I knew to recommend the fried chicken and the cornbread to the newcomers!

Geneva's cornbread has been legendary for decades!

And, after our leisurely luncheon, I walked them around the building to enjoy the murals.

Very nice, aren't they?

Now, I'm going to make a list for the grocery story.

It'll be good to take advantage of soup sales with this cooler weather.

Then, I'm going to check on Hurricane Milton, in the Gulf.

No need to restock perishables if the electricity might go out, right?

But what a relief to know I have the funds from SNAP to do so,

when the time is right.

i thank You, God.

where i needed to be

Absolutely.

Off fb and at the movies, 

munching pepperoni pizza, 

watching two larger-than-life heroes 

save the world.

Right place, right time.

Perfect.

i thank You, God.

let there be.... sushi!!!

Hallelujah!

That itch has been thoroughly scratched!

When the physicist arrived for our luncheon and asked if I had a hankering for anything in particular, sushi immediately leapt to mind!

That meant I had to tell him about seeing the documentary about the octogenarian again, the one we'd seen together so long ago.

Yes, he remembered that one!

And when he asked where to dine, I said "the place on Montgomery Cross Road", and he'd said, "oh, that's a good place, but I never remember which way its name goes."

That's when the correct order, and the name, popped up for me: Sushi Time Towa.

Yes!!! I love that place, though I haven't been in years!

They even had a luncheon special that looked very good to me...

ah, too bad it's only or Monday through Thursday.

That's when the J-Dawg said, "What day do you think today is?" 

Pause... wasn't it Sunday?

No, yesterday was Sunday, right, since I watched Billy's sermon "live" on youTube...

so, today must be Monday???

But it was Labor Day... which is always on a Monday!!!

Hooray!!!

So we both dined for $18.95 on the sumptuous feast provided by one weekday special!

Salad with ginger dressing, a beautifully-plated California roll, two pieces of tempura shrimp, two pieces of tempura vegetables, a generous helping of teriyaki chicken with vegetables, and a pillowy mound of white rice - and the waiter even brought us an extra plate to split it!

Wow!

Plus, we had lots of talking, too!

He's working on contacting his subconscious mind and I told him about my blog chats with myself and how helpful that is for working through issues.

I also told him that there's a T. S. Eliot line that helps trigger talks with my inner mind.

"Terrence this is stupid stuff, you eat your victuals fast enough."

[Though, just now, when I looked it up, I discovered I've credited the wrong poet.

I should have said A. E. Housman instead.]

"In fact," I told him, "I need to contact my subconscious about this loss adjustment problem I am having that has my sleep schedule screwed up."

So, we talked about Barbara and Kal, about that case still rocking on because the phones are locked, about my apparent need to have some resolution, about me waking up at least six times last night, about me being up until 2:30 AM or later and that causing me to wake up later than I like.

At least "Toon In With Me" had a theme of movie genres this morning, so I got see chuckle at Daffy Duck as a detective in a 1952 film noir spoof called "The Super Snooper".

(smile!)

That alone should have clued me in that it was a weekday, right?

That show isn't on Saturday or Sunday.

And, yet... it took the bfe's asking me "What day do you think today is?"

LOL!

What a fine way to spend a couple of hours today: in his company!

(smile!)

I'd already started out with a fine breakfast, using a chunk of leftover cheeseburger with lettuce and kosher dill pickle slices.

Thank you, Tony and Laura, for that party yesterday!

(smile!)

Then, for dinner tonight, I polished off the half-rack of ribs my other brother had brought with him to the Friday Fiesta at Jalapenos.

Smitty had texted first to confirm that I would be there.

Hooray for ribs for Labor Day!

Thank you, brother mine!

(smile!)

Now, I'm off to meet Carolyn at the cinema.

We're going to different movies, but it's still a chance to see each other.

I'm seeing "The Crow" again, she's seeing "Deadpool & Wolverine" once more.

What a full holiday weekend it's been!

(smile!)

2 a-lists and a p-a-t

I was able to finish out this week's A*List after all on this Tina Tuesday.

I had a 'house call' this afternoon, with Korema of Signify, and she listened intently to my tale of the deaths of Barbara and Kal, and my subsequent loss adjustment.

She also performed a peripheral artery test, using sensors on my thumbs and big toes, and pronounced my body had passed muster.

That's good.

Now that I'm no longer distracted by volunteer duties with the Savannah Voice Festival, the A-fib has returned.

Not good.

I'm supposed to be able to take the summers off, right?

Nope.

So, I started back on Sotalol this morning.

Hopefully my body will adjust in a week or so and I can stop it again.

So, what about the A*List thing?

I finished up this week's with a repeat of "Borderlands", as it leaves on Thursday.

That adventure with a firebird really was enjoyable!

"Ryan's World, The Movie: Titan Universe Adventure" was a lot of fun, too, with its blend of live action and anime.

I told Christina that I thought Chloe would really like it, too.

Then there's Elizabeth Banks in "Skincare", based on real stuff and nonsense between two high-end beauticians in Los Angeles, back in 2013.

Interesting and a bit wacky, and something I'd missed in the news back then.

And while I'm on the topic of my dance card, I'd missed this one.

Between loss adjustment, a tropical storm that dumped tons of water - YES, MY ROOF IS FINE, THANKS - and the start of SVF12, writing about it slipped my mind.

Well, kinda sorta.

I had mentioned "Twisters" and the second one, both seen as a double header, but I'd not added anything about seeing "Inside Out 2" the next day.

So, let's say these were dance partners I liked enough to sashay with again.

Yes, let's.

(smile!)

it's the hair

This morning, naught would do but that I watch "The Croods".

I felt absolutely compelled to see it, and to see it now, before doing anything else.

Fortunately, I have it keepsaked in "my stuff" on Peacock, so I could do so.

But it wasn't until nearly the end that I realized what had pulled me so hard.

It was Eep's hair, that unruly mass of red flaring out to both sides of her head, calling to me.

I was very familiar with that hair.

Barbara Nixon, mi amiga, had that hair, too.

That's her, of course, in the blue shirt.

Sandy had posted this photo on Tuesday, of the three of us posing with the bear, from our Beech Mountain vacation in 2017.

That would be four years after the movie debuted.

The photo had come up as a fb memory for Sandy.

By coincidence, I'd had my coffee that morning in the mug I'd made (during the first year of the pandemic) as a memento for each of us. 

Loss adjustment, ongoing, still, for both of us.

When I told Sandy of me starting my day with that cup on that Tuesday, she responded that it was one of her favorite mugs, too.

Right place, right time.

I'll have to recommend this movie about a strong-willed, red-haired, woman to that amiga.

Perhaps it will be a solace for her, as it has been for me.

As the next generation of frothy red-orange hair said, using the tagline of Belt: "Ta dah!!!"

(smile!)

Ken, what are nerf guns, cowbell, armadillo, and knishes?

"Who is Ken?"

 

He's the new host of "Jeopardy". Well, most of the time, anyway.

 

"Okay. That clears up one question I had, but not the other."

 

Wondering about that post title?

 

"Oh, you betcha."

 

"The 24 Hour Plays: Savannah" was held tonight and so the answer would have to be "Items which appeared onstage at the Savannah Children's Theatre".

 

"Whoa. There was an actual armadillo???"

 

Of course not, silly rabbit. It was represented in balloon animal form, in several colors, in the third play, "Escape The Drama". That was written by the Kamerons' neighbors, Chris and Molly Bass. Chris even played the Clue Master of the escape room. 

"That sounds like it was a lot of fun!"

I think I would have liked it much better a couple of weeks ago, when life was not smacked so hard by the deaths of two I knew.

"What death did it have in it??"

The death of a childhood pet, Skippy the armadillo, when the two women in the escape room had been teens and were close friends. The animal's death had sundered that friendship.

"That's a far cry from what happened with Barbara and Kal, though. So, you should cut that play some slack."

Here's the thing: it wasn't the only one that dealt with death. The play festival opened with "Bird's-Eye View" about death and funerals, and closed with "Elephants & Flowers" about death and suicide. Plus, the two to either side of the escape room had guns in them.

"Really? Why were those plays all so dark?"

I don't know. And, try as I might, I could not determine what the plays had to have in common. This isn't my first time around 24 Hour Play Festivals, as I've been supporting them since 2011. My favorite is still the one from 2017, when all of the plays had to include the line, "Thank you, JinHi" - totally awesome! For the five tonight, though, I could not pluck the unifying thread.

"And you're an analytical chemist, so finding a pattern is your thing."

Exactly.

"Did Ryan McCurdy have a play involved? I know he's the one who invited you to this."

No, he did not. He is with Savannah Performance Alliance, which includes folks from SavRepTh, SavStageCo, SavCabaret, and SavChTh. Those are the troupes that survived the pandemic, so it's heartening to see them working together. Thomas Houston wrote one, as did Rick Garman. Jayme Tinti directed one. So, it was good to see some carryover of talent from the previous play festivals.

 

"Garman? He's the "p is silent" guy, right?"

 

Correct. His play was the last one, "Elephants & Flowers", with a guy perched on a 20th-floor ledge of an apartment to commit suicide. The crazy old lady neighbor manages to talk him in with a promise of fresh knishes. It was actually pretty nice.

 

"That's good to hear. You thinking of giving his Club One productions another try?"

 

Maybe, we'll see. Money's a bit tight, right, since the vacation and I have house insurance coming up due with AllState.

 

"Yes, dear. What did Thomas write? You've always liked his stuff."

 

Yes, and I laughed several times during "His Dark Secret". That starred Rayshawn Roberts as a man who has taken his g'friend to his "cave lair" to tell her that he is the 'Golden Gun'. That's when he shows her this huge nerf gun than turns things into gold! That was funny. Then the Mistress Diablo surprises them, and she has an even bigger nerf gun. Seriously, you would have had to have been there.

"I would have greatly enjoyed that! What about the one with Jayme?"

Well, she directed it, as was really obvious, given the fast pacing of so many of the SavStageCo performances. That was "The Case of the Tenacious Thief" which featured a London apartment owned by a guy named Moneybags, who loved his cowbell and could talk like Christopher Walken. I kid you not! He's entertaining a lady friend when McThief comes in, with lots of pratfalls, and steals that cowbell. Really funny piece, it was! But everyone had a gun, even though they were nerf guns. I know, I know, the timing for this playfest was just not the best for me.

"Trust me, things will get better. It just takes time."

Don't I know it. I have far too much experience with grief and loss adjustment.

cartoons to chicken salad: on with the show

"I though you had the visitation for Barbara Nixon today...?"

I did, but first I had breakfast in my groove. It's vital to keep some normalcy when in the process of loss adjustment. So I allowed these two zany characters, and their friends, to try to bring the smile back up to my eyes.

"Understood."

The visitation went well, though I would have liked for some of her students to have been there. Well, Sandy was there of course, and she had been a student 40-some-odd years ago. She had her friends Kelly, Kathy, and Myles there with her. She talked a lot about her jewelry show tomorrow at the JEA. I plan to drop in for moral support, but my credit card will not.

"As if you even wear jewelry anymore. Not since the A-fib surgeries."

True. Who else did I know there today? Cedric Stratton came, with his daughter Enone, who looks very much like him. Speaking of people who look like others, Barbara's nephew, David Ranew, has her face shape, her hair, her mannerisms of speech. I found myself staring at him while we spoke. Her niece, Debbie Ranew, does not have that resemblance and looks more like her father than her mother. Interesting.

"So, Marjy had a son that looked like the brother she would have had, if your theory is correct about siblings having daughters that resemble a sister or sons who resemble a brother."

Quite possibly. I really didn't have much time with anyone there. Carolyn was there, of course, as well as Brenda Shermer. Dianne DiBenedetto was there, as she is the receptionist for the psych Barbara has seen all these years. In fact, Jeff Jennings and his wife, Judy, were both there, too. He said to me, "Oh, you're Tina." Of course she talked about me to him, just as I talk about her here on my beach.

"Indeed. How long were you there?"

From just after 2 PM until almost 4:30 PM. In fact, I was there with Carolyn, the doc and his wife, and Cedric and his daughter, for about twenty minutes after everyone else, including Debbie and David, had left. I finally took my leave shortly after Carolyn did.

"That seems like a long time to be there."

It was to my back. My upper back has been so very tense from the stress. 

"I'm sorry to hear that."

Anyway, when I left, I was hungry, so I went to Chili's. Strike 1! They were closed due to some maintenance issue.

"You're kidding!"

I am not. So I decided to try Cici's, knowing they would feed me right away. Strike 2. There were so many cars there that I would have had to park too far.

"Goodness gracious."

So, as I was in that shopping center, I considered either Seasons of Japan or Chicken Salad Chick. I chose the latter because I would get that cookie with my meal.

"That's as good a reason as any."

Right? Then I ordered. Fruity Fran? Nope, sold out, strike 1. Seriously? Fancy Nancy, then. Nope, sold out, strike 2. 

"Incredible. They'd had a run on the sweeter ones, I guess?"

I guess. So I chose my usual, Lauryn's Lemon Basil and that was a solid hit. I got the Broccoli Salad to go with it, then stepped down to get my lemonade. I was definitely eating in. And when I went to find a table, I saw her green top. Carolyn was there! Right place, right time. I am so grateful for little miracles. They truly do nourish my soul.

"Honey, that's wonderful!"

It was, too. We dined together for about 90 minutes, talking about the visitation, outings she had with Jim Reed, the loss of Joe Buttner's wife, movies we'd seen. Then we walked each other out, gave big hugs, and went our separate ways. Perfect.

"Well, that is just wonderful. Now take something for that back pain before it decides to stick around a few days."

Will do. I have other plans this evening than being in pain.

buffy and the dead men

Looking to be entertained, preferably without 'mercials, I chose Peacock.

Something romantic?

Not this time.

Something with lots of action and guns?

Hell to the no.

Something suitable for kids?

Let's keep looking, shall we?

Something comedic, something familiar?

Now you're talking.

"Buffy The Vampire Slayer", from 1992, would do just fine.

A chick kicking ass, with not a single bullet fired.

Yes, that was perfect for tonight.

Peacock even showed it without a single ad.

(smile) 

Here are two dead men and a Buffy.

 

 

Then there's two dead men and a cat.

 

 

 

 

 

Here's a dead man in a living room.

 

That's Luke Perry, playing a hipster teen.

He was 26 then.

 

He died in March of 2019, only 52 years old, after having back to back strokes.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

As a vampire in a cape, none could best Rutger Hauer, man of my dreams.

He was 48 in this role.

 

His death was in July of 2019, just four months after Perry's death.

He was 75.

 

 

Here's Paul Reubens, playing a one-armed vampire henchman.

He was 39 years old as that wise-cracking character.

 

This was 12 years after his earlier role in which I noted his death.

He died last July, of lung cancer, just before his 71st birthday.

Then there's Donald Sutherland, as the watcher who'd seen too many vampire slayers die before him.

His age was 57 and he wore it well.

His death last month in June of this year warranted a text message from my ex.

Sutherland was a month shy of his 89th birthday.

To me, that means he was nearly the same age as my stepdad had been when he died.

 

 

 

 

 

And, now, somehow, 

after writing about all of these deaths, 

I feel much more at peace.

Right place, right time.

i thank You, God.

third strike for melissa

Perhaps I shouldn't have gone to the Smiths & Kamerons Friday Fiesta, but I did.

I needed to be with my brothers and sisters-in-law.

I had missed them on Wednesday night, as a big thunderstorm had knocked out the power at their church, canceling that night's "At The Movies" session.

(Sigh)

So, to Jalapenos I went.

Sure, I wanted some sympathy for the loss of Barbara, and I wanted to talk to Tony and Laura about why I had landed on their porch...

and I wanted to let them know about the visitation coming up...

and I needed hugs.

Yeah, that's not what I got.

Tony was all over me about the right - no, the NEED - for people to have guns.

He missed the point.

The proximity of a pull-and-shoot weapon turned a momentary lapse of reason into death.

Seriously.

No one rallied to my side on the issue, either.

 

We had a new waitress tonight and she didn't help matters.

When I ordered "sopapilla", she asked me, "Beef or chicken?"

Seriously.

I just looked at her until she realized her mistake -

"Oh, that's a dessert" -

then she took Laura's order.

 

When my order finally came, about ten minutes after everyone else's, it was wrong.

She had ordered ice cream to the dessert.

At least it was on the side, so I didn't have to send it back.

Laura said perhaps she added the ice cream because she mistook the sweet for one of the entrees, so I gave Melissa a break.

 

So, while talking with them about the missed movie, I asked if it was to be shown Sunday.

It would indeed be, at 9 AM and 11 AM.

That's when I said I'd probably go to that later one as Reverend Billy was on his summer hiatus and had a string of substitutes in his place, so I was blowing off Asbury.

I added that the only one I cared to hear was Rabbi Haas, but he had spoken the Sunday that I was in Florida...

and that's when Tony stepped in about a Jew preaching at a Christian church...

and I countered with all the Old Testament-based sermons on hope and faith...

and he was adamant that Jesus should be the focus of every Christian sermon.

Seriously.

He became even more incensed when I said that in the past we had an Imam preach.

Seriously.

Laura tried to intervene, asking questions about the other religions, but Tony was not deterred from his talk of Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, talking as if Jesus was God.

Seriously.

I thought of reminding him that Jesus was a Jew.

I thought of asking him to see Billy's sermon on the misuse of John 3:16.

I thought of referring him to the lecture from Brendan Murphy at SJCAF3.

I did not, though.

When bills came at meal's end, mine was wrong, as I'd expected.

Melissa had charged me for the unordered ice cream.

Nope, that needed to be fixed.

Sure, it was just a dollar, but that wasn't the point.

I had not ordered that addition and it needed to be removed.

She also had Laura's bill wrong.

Laura requested a change to hers, too.

When we got our new bills, hers was still not correct, but she paid it anyway.

After all, Melissa was Eddie Strother's wife and they had grown up knowing Eddie.

Mine was correct, so I gave her my NFCU card to pay.

When she came back, she just dropped off the receipt for me to sign and walked off.

I took one glance...

WTF?!

It was for $61.28, but my bill was only $3.28.

WTF?!

She gave me the wrong credit card receipt?

Yes, she had, but she had charged the amount to my credit card!!!

WTF?!

Receipts in hand, I went chasing through the restaurant to find her on the other side of the bar, near the register.

I yelled at her, "What the f*ck is this? I'm not paying for someone's alcohol!!! I want this charge off my f*cking card right now!!!"

She was about to stand up to me, but the anger on my face stopped her.

Cowering, she said, "You don't have to yell, I'll fix it..."

and then she called for the manager to help do that.

"I want a receipt showing that charge voided, too", I spat out, standing right there, in front of the kitchen and the bar and anyone there, waiting for the error to be fixed.

And by the time the right charge was made and the wrong one corrected, the Kamerons had all fled, Jimmy, Betsy, Mark, Addison, Becca...

all of them.

Even Smitty and Mary were already outside, with Laura going as I went to the table to sign my charge slip. 

WTF.

It was as if I was in the wrong instead of this friend's wife who waited on us tonight.

WTF.

Only Tony stayed behind to wait while I finished up.

At least I got hugs from the four of them.

I realize that I'm on edge from Barbara's death.

I've thought about texting her several times this week.

Want to go to a movie?

Want to eat at Jason's Deli?

How are things going with Kal?

Your A/C fixed yet?

WTF.

 

Now, I've taken out my anger on the wild cherry and resurgent oak outside my bedroom.

Right before I'd gone to Kal's on Saturday, Lynn Nash of the City of Savannah had come by.

She had photos of two areas that needed to be addressed by August 13.

I thought she was talking about my grass, even though I knew it was okay.

Sure, it was a bit shaggy from the rains, but it wasn't over the allowed height.

I spoke to her about the "jackleg" down the street and how unhappy he was about my yard since I wouldn't hire him to cut it and "straighten it out".

Lynn Nash looked at my magnolia tree when I spoke of him having a problem with the patterns in the lawn.

She said, "is that a crop circle?"

WTF.

"No, it's a spiral. My great-grands love running in it!"

Clearly, Lynn Nash needs to watch the History channel and get educated on crop circles.

WTF.

So, just what had been her complaint with my yard?

The grass growing over the front curb and into the street was "blocking the flow of water to the storm drain"...

yes, she did say that, silly as it sounded...

and the "unruly vegetation" in the side yard.

The trees???

That were chopped down less than a year ago???

Well, fine, I've remedied that right now.

The thunderstorm this afternoon had cooled things off, so when I got home from the "fiesta" and needed to vent, I took that anger out on the yard.

An hour later, I had three new piles by the street and I felt calmer.

Damper from the water shaken from the branches as I worked, but calmer.

Now to find something to entertain me.

news about a visitation, at last

There has still been no news about what happened that morning in Betz Creek.

However, we at least have word from Barbara's niece about a service for her.

Rather, it will be a visitation, as Barbara was not religious.

I'm glad that belief is being honored.

 

Here is the obituary, soon to be on the Gamble Funeral Home site.

"Barbara Adele Nixon, born on July 11, 1951, passed away on July 25, 2024. She was preceded in death by her parents...as well as her sister, Margaret Nixon Ranew.

After earning her Master's degree, Barbara dedicated over 40 years of her life to teaching mathematics and was a proud member of MENSA. After retiring, she dedicated her time to tutoring in mathematics and to traveling.

Barbara is survived by her niece, Deborah Ranew, her nephew, David Ranew (Tracy), and her great-nephew, Alex Ranew. 

A memorial visitation to honor Barbara's life will be held at Gamble Funeral Home... on August 3rd from 2:00 PM to 4:00 PM." 

I'll be sure to block out that time for her.

I'll also find some photos to place on her tribute wall, starting with that one of me, her, and Sandy from her birthday73 celebration.

Amazingly, I didn't take that... Barbara did.

That was odd, as she didn't usually take our group photographs.

Perhaps there was something in the air that night...

as had been on the night after a karaoke session at Steed's fifteen years ago, when something prompted me to click on Sam with Bob and Mom Wiley.

There's a thought.

workout on the little trees

"There are no accidents."

To me, that means to try to look for that silver lining when life gets overwhelming.

"There are no accidents."

Even though I told Carolyn that I would check Kal's house for Barbara's car this morning, I puttered around at home until almost noon.

"There are no accidents."

That meant I was still home when the City of Savannah, in the form of Lynn Nash, came tapping on my door with a yard complaint in her hand.

"There are no accidents."

The problem was not with my grass height, but with the overgrowth hanging off the curb in front of my house, as well as the "unkempt vegetation", i.e., little trees growing between my neighbor's house and mine.

"There are no accidents."

That gave me a different focal point from words spoken last night to Carolyn.

That enabled me to calmly leave my house and head for 13 Rigger Court in Betz Creek, not focusing on the nightmare that might await.

I've been in shock since that Saturday morning.

That shock has finally begun to loosen its hold on me.

"There are no accidents."

The paperwork that Lynn Nash gave me has stayed in view on the marble coffee table in the living room, reminding me of work to do, reminding me of a source upon which to vent my frustration and loss.

I started on that pruning this evening, after the temperature had cooled enough.

That area in the first photo has been appreciably altered now.

Three piles await the City of Savannah.

Their turn now.

"There are no accidents."

Right place, right time...

i thank You, God.

and the dragon warrior says to the master...

"So, should I stop talking?"

Resignedly, Shifu replied, "if you can."

Perfect.

Anyone who knew Barbara Nixon knows what a nonstop chatterbox she could be.

If she had been at "Kung Fu Panda" with me, we would have spent a minimum of thirty minutes standing in the parking lot of the cinema, with me getting an occasional word in when she paused for a breath.

That could be rather aggravating at times, but, as we both live alone, I would allow her to get her pent-up need to talk out of her system.

A listening ear was all she required of me.

I got that... and I "got" that.

 

I'm so glad I came to this movie this morning.

It was exactly what I needed.

Now, I'm going to do a little loss adjustment at the Purple Planet.

Mindless physical exertion, accompanied by music, is what they give me, when I need to put my thoughts on hold for a while.

"There are no accidents," Oogway always said.

I have been where I needed to be.

Right place, right time.

i thank You, God.

even at a higher setting, this was all i got

I knew the grass had grown during the vacation to Kissimmee, so I made an accommodation by raising the mower blade and inch above the usual setting.

I needn't have bothered.

The Ryobi gave it the best effort it could, but that thick growth was too much.

After only 45 minutes, the battery was completely exhausted.

So was I.

At least there are furrows to allow more water to evaporate, as more is forthcoming.

That began tonight, so I'm glad I hustled out to do that task.

Not only because it needed done, but also because I need the physical work.

Loss adjustment, still, ongoing.

Detective Noble's investigation is still ongoing, too.

At least he has information from Kristin and Carolyn, as they never seem to eliminate any text messages from their phones.

Perhaps he will soon have a story of what happened between Barbara and Kal on that Thursday morning last week.

Well, the logistics of it.

No one could ever know the conversation before those gunshots were fired.

luncheon of comfort and joy

Right place, right time.

I had almost called to cancel our luncheon, but hesitated.

I didn't want to have to say the words out loud about Barbara and Kal's deaths.

I had already spoken them to Lauri and Lynn, as well as to Kristin.

I had already sent numerous emails with those words to so many.

I had already sent so many texts to Sandy and Carolyn.

I needed a break.

So, I showed up at Houlihan's, as already scheduled...

and this "Summer Tree" greeted me.

Then Josie came!

She and I talked about so many things!

Her book about her time in Ghana as a teen is now under review with the publisher!

She is in process of moving all from her house to her new office, as her counseling business has been sold to her partner!

Both of those changes, as well as her bird-feeder invention, will provide revenue streams well into the future for Buddy Watch and the shelter for homeless veterans.

She also told me that her son, Michael, the impetus behind her creation of Buddy Watch, has gotten married, though time will tell how that turns out.

I told her about my trip to Kissimmee, but she could tell something was off.

After all, she's known me since high school.

She knows when the smile is reaching my eyes, and can tell when it stays only on my lips.

So, as we were finishing our meal, she asked what was up...

and I told her all of it, from the words I'd said to Carolyn to the

nightmare visit to the Wilmington Island house to all the

rehashing while notifying friends Barbara and I had in common.

She wondered why the police did not have yellow tape out front to mark

the homicide scene, but she listened intently.

Then, she reassured me, as Jeff and Christina had, that there was 

no call for guilt on my part for my glib slip of the tongue.

And we talked about Barbara's decade-long infatuation with the SCAD

philosophy professor and about her continual insistence for three years

that she would take care of him when he finally had the hip surgery.

And we talked about Kal's narcissistic need for a live audience for his 

classes, how he had detested having to teach by ZOOM this summer,

how depressed he was at the thought of having to do so again in fall.

And we talked about both of my friends having owned guns.

A momentary lapse of reason, with forever consequences.

Does it matter which fired their weapon first?

No.

Does it matter whether it was murder-suicide or double homicide?

No.

Both are dead, both are dead from gunshot.

Still.

The thing to keep in mind, though, is as my first niece said:

"The last ten minutes of their story is far less important than

the rest of their story."

Jo agreed.

i thank You, God, for these wise women in my life.

aftermath... (she would have loved that pun)

Today, I drafted a message to people who knew Barbara Nixon, to let them know.

The news has not yet released names, but it's only a matter of time before they do.

I thought it would be better to hear it from me than a TV screen.

I called our friend Lauri, who I'd just seen, to let her know.

After all, she had called me when Christa had died.

We were on the phone two hours.

That was good.

For Barbara's MENSA friends - Cedric Stratton, Susan Daggett, Bonnie Blue and Don Jarvis - I sent an email, along with my phone number.

I also sent emails to Patrick and Sarah Young (from JAVAflix Savannah days), now in Jacksonville; Tomasz Warchol of CinemaSavannah; our theatre friend, Kaye Kennebrew; Barbara's movie pal, Brenda Shermer.

I'll have to contact Kristin Stout on fb, or call her, but that can wait for tomorrow.

I'm exhausted.

 

Here's my message to them.

"Barbara has died.
Actually, both she and the man (Kaloyan Hariskov) she has been tending to since his hip surgery in early May were both found dead in his house on Thursday morning.
The police had been called there for a "wellness check".
The police do not expect anyone else was involved in their deaths by gun.
 
https://www.wtoc.com/2024/07/26/chatham-county-police-department-investigating-after-two-people-found-dead-wilmington-island-home/
https://www.wsav.com/news/2-people-found-dead-in-rigger-court-home/
https://www.wjcl.com/article/rigger-court-chatham-county-death-investigation/61711357
 
I found out yesterday when I drove to Kal's house to see if Barbara's car was there, as none of us had heard from her on Thursday.
I am sure we will none of us truly know what went on there.
I do know that the relationship between Barbara and Kal had become very strained about a month ago when it became clear that Kal had re-injured his repaired hip and would have to again go through the surgery and recovery process.
 
Such a sad situation..."   

 

Such a sad situation.

words that should have stayed silent

i thank You, God, for the ex.

He has a sense of wit that sometimes gets his mouth in trouble. 

Apparently, so do I. 

When he texted a chemistry joke to me this morning, I took it as a sign.

me: An oldie but a goodie. Nice to hear from you, though. Was thinking about you yesterday.

me: Found out my friend Barbara was murdered. Looks likely that the man she was helping recover from hip surgery shot her, as well as himself.

me: You can find the story by searching 'rigger court' Savannah.

him: Wow, I am so sorry.

me: Thank you. Yesterday was hard.

me: Their relationship had become quite strained for the last month. I had no idea he had guns. He was a philosophy instructor for SCAD.

me: Carolyn called me Thursday night, since neither were responding to her texts and calls. She had checked Barbara's house, his car was there but not hers. So I told her I would drive out to Wilmington Island to his house.

me: Her car was in the driveway. I knocked, no response. By the time I came off the porch, a police car had arrived and parked by my car.

me: He told me they found the two both dead, after being called for a "wellness check".

me: Still in shock.

me: I will be okay. It's just ht me really hard. I had made a glib comment to Carolyn on Friday night during our phone call, and I feel really badly about it.

me: When she told me she had no responses from either of them, I said, "You don't guess they've killed each other, do you?"

me: They were both already dead by that time, but, still. I knew Carolyn was well aware of the anger and frustration the two had about the situation.

me: Still, I regret having said that, in light of what has become.

me: I just wouldn't have put those words into the world if I'd thought they might actually be true.

him: I suppose it's only human to feel that way. But it's also human to have made that comment. Forgive yourself that, at least. We all make sardonic jokes about the extreme possibilities *because* they're so unlikely.

----------

I had texted my story to Christina shortly before he'd sent me the joke.

She had told me almost exactly the same thing that Jeff had.

her: You had no way of knowing what was already done. Mourning the loss of your friend is fine. But don't hold yourself accountable for what happened.

-----------

It's reassuring to have such wisdom from two I love.

i'm sorry, your friend has been murdered

I am in shock.

I had gone to Rigger Court on Wilmington Island to look for Barbara's car, and found it.

 

Something about the quietness of the house bothered me, so I took a picture and sent it to Carolyn, partly as proof that I'd done the errand she requested of me, partly as proof of where I was in case things went badly.

Neither of us had heard from Barbara for a couple of days.

That was very unusual.

Carolyn told me she'd texted and called several times yesterday, but never heard back.

She had texted and called Kal, too, to no avail.

That's when Carolyn had become alarmed and called me last night, to see if I'd heard anything, to see if I knew where his house was, as his car was at Barbara's.

As soon as Carolyn got the photo of Barbara's car, she called me, then she was going to call Sandy and see if she might know anything.

I went up to the porch and rang the doorbell.

No response.

I knocked on the door, loud raps on the wood to get their attention.

No response.

I looked in the window by the door.

The house was dark, no lights anywhere, no sound at all.

That was very unusual.

And just as I was about to step off the porch, Carolyn rang, telling me to get out of there, that Sandy read a story online about them being murdered.

Say what?

By that time, I was crossing the small front yard, heading toward my car, when I saw a young woman dash up to the mailbox and pull out its contents.

"Excuse me, can I help you?" I asked, in my best authoritative voice...

and reaching out her right hand, she said her name, followed by the words, "I'm Kal's stepdaughter"...

and I just froze.

She was who???

Kal had a stepdaughter???

That's when Detective Noble stepped forward and asked me why I was there.

What???

I had not even noticed the police car pulled up beside my little Saturn.

I told him I'd come to look for my friend's car, in response to a friend's concern, as I had Kal's address and Carolyn did not.

I told him we had not heard from Barbara in a couple of days and that was unusual.

I told him Barbara had been taking care of Kal since his first hip surgery in May and that they had recently come back from North Carolina where he had that surgery repaired as he had messed up the hip again.

The detective took my name and number, confirmed that the young woman was Kal's stepdaughter, that she'd arrived from New York with her boyfriend, and that Kal's wife was still in Japan.

Kal's wife???

What???

The detective also took the names and phone numbers of Carolyn and Sandy and told me to let them know he would be in contact this next week.

When I brought up Barbara's niece and nephew, he told me they had already been notified of Barbara's death...

and that's when it hit me...

she was really dead.

But she just had her birthday, only two weeks ago...

right?

Seeing the shock, that's when the detective again said those words to me:

"I'm sorry, your friend has been murdered."

Shock.

The police had been called in for a 'wellness check' on Thursday morning, after gunshots were heard.

Both had been dead when the police arrived.

There were no signs of forced entry, no signs that anyone but them had been there. 

Shock.

I sat in my car and cried until I felt calm enough to drive.

I left the officer, the stepdaughter, and her boyfriend still at Kal's house.

I drove straight home, then walked down to Tony and Laura's house.

They were gone, so I sat on the front porch in a rocking chair, sitting and crying and gradually calming down as the birdsong and green tree and curious gekko surrounded me.

My guess is that took an hour.

It was long enough that I felt I needed to let Tony and Laura know I was there, in case one of their neighbors mentioned my visit.

They were having a Saturday in Pooler when I told them about Barbara's death, but I assured them that I was about to go home, as I was calmer.

I also opened the door and let Dane come out, but he was a bit spooked that I was there and had been crying.

He really is a very sensitive dog.

Now, I am home...

in shock...

still...

but calmer.

i thank You, God, for leading me where I needed to be this day.

Je souhaite...

Stressed: *calls Mama*

Annoyed: *calls Mama*

Has a problem: *calls Mama*

Happy:  *calls Mama*

Found out good news:  *calls Mama*

Any slight inconvenience: *calls Mama*

Was told a new joke: *calls Mama*

Just checking in:  *calls Mama*

Needs help with a decision: *calls Mama*

Heard a favorite song: *calls Mama*

Made a new recipe: *calls Mama*

Watched a favorite movie: *calls Mama*

Wants to hear her voice: *calls Mama*

(Sigh)

Impossible things, still, always. 

Loss adjustment is a process, not an end.