psychobabble rap 2 me

Tell you 'bout a dream that I have every night

[no, just this one time...]

 

Tell you 'bout a dream that I have every night

[actually. it was after I hit snooze today at 0930...]

 

It ain't Kodachrome and it isn't black and white

[pretty sure it was in color, like my dreams usually are...]

 

Take me for a fool if you feel that's right

[certainly was lost in it, no idea where I was...]

 

Well, I'm never on my own, but there's nobody in sight

[um, that last part is correct, but not the first...] 

 

I don't know why I'm scared of the lightning

[who said anything about lightning?]

Trying to reach me

[my phone number is still the same, just sayin'...]

I can't turn to the left or the right

[got plenty of room for that in this king-sized bed...]

I'm too scared to run and I'm too weak to fight

[I admit, there was a scary moment in the dream...] 

 

But I don't care, it's all psychobabble rap to me
Psychobabble
[maybe I should just describe it, right?]

 

Tell you 'bout a dream that I have every night

[So, I look around and realize that I'm in a big hotel suite...]

It's in Dolby stereo, but I never hear it right

[even though there's no one there, it feels familiar...]

Take me for a fool, well, that's all right

[like I'm there with cuzn Michelle and her family...]

Well, I see the way to go, but there isn't any light

[there's plenty of light, but none of them...]

I don't know why I'm scared of the lightning

[so I go in search and wind up in this huge hallway...]

Trying to reach me

[where, of course, I got turned around...]

Help me to find what I don't wanna know

[ending up on a passenger ferry taking a sunset cruise on the river...]

You're taking me there, but I don't wanna go

[so I go along, ending up next to this big friendly guy...]

I don't care, it's all psychobabble rap to me

[which worked out well a few minutes later...]

Psychobabble, all psychobabble

[on the riverbank, atop a castle ruin, were three drunks wrestling...]

Psychobabble, all psychobabble

[and one fell and looked like he might be dead...]

I don't care, it's all psychobabble rap to me
[so I closed my eyes and cuddled next to the friendly guy...]

 

You're readin' my mind, you won't look in my eyes

[and when i opened my eyes, the ferry had reversed back toward the hotel...]

You say I do things that I don't realize

[the guy had left so I took a walk...]

But I don't care, it's all psychobabble rap to me

[another guy came up to me and started talking about a Thomas Edison book...]

Psychobabble, all psychobabble

[but then two boys with hot chocolate came by, said it was just a dollar...]

Psychobabble, all psychobabble

[sure enough, they were right, and I bought a cup with the $5 coin I got at the hotel...]

You're lighting a scene that's faded to black

[I even found six quarters on the deck as I waited for my hot chocolate...]

I threw it away 'cause I don't want it back

[then I walked off, sipping the hot chocolate as the ferry sailed under a night sky...]

But I don't care, it's all psychobabble rap 

 - - - -

My thanks to the Alan Parsons Project for use of their lyrics.

My thanks to my mental jukebox for reminding me of this song as I waited for coffee.

Maybe I'll be able to continue this dream some other  day...

but not today.

got some jokes for ya! hot off the fb!

Here's one from that British post-doc I befriended during grad school with Dr. Mandelkern.

He's also the one who introduced me to caving while I was there in Tallahassee.

Andrew Peacock is an avid photographer, and has a keen sense of humor.

Typically the last shot of a new group of photos will be of some animal's backside, with the title simply being "The End". 

Very funny!!!

So, this one is from him, photos and words.

Why did the deer cross the road?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

To get to Rattlesnake Creek!

 

Hahaha! Haha!

 

Not so funny?

 

Hmm... maybe it's a Virginia thing.

 

(smile!)

 

 

Perhaps this one will be more to your liking.

My cousin Penny posted it and I grabbed it for the ex, knowing he would like it.

 

A priest, a rabbit, and a minister walk into a bar.

 

The bartender asks the rabbit, "What'll ya have?"

 

The rabbit says, "I dunno. I'm only here because of Autocorrect."

 

Hahahaha!

 

Isn't that look on the rabbit's face hilarious???

 

Speaking of faces, I would have liked to have seen the two birds in this one from Bob Bueling, a buddy from my days in the Navy.

 

"At the beach today I saw two birds sunbathing on little chairs while enjoying ice cream cones.

 

They were baskin' robins."

 

Hahahaha!!! Cracks me up!

So does this one from my sister-in-law's stepsister, Hallie, over in Louisiana.

 

"The older I get,

the more I regret

all the people I've lost

over the years.

 

Maybe

being a trail guide

wasn't such a great idea

after all. "

 

Isn't that an absolute hoot?!

 

This one, from Jay Sinclair, a former DJ who worked with my ex, posted this one.

It may take a moment...

as it's all a visual puzzle...

no words...

so, I'll give ya a few secs.

I guarantee the women will get it first...

and that's your only hint!

 

Can't find it?

Maybe you should ask for help!

Hahahaha!

I'll leave you with this science-based jokefest.

Trust me, no need to be a chemist to laugh at this set of lab rules!

Come on, we've all known clowns who have broken these... and hopefully lived.

 

Rule #1: Never lick the spoon.

 

Rule #2: Hot glass looks just like cold glass.

 

Rule #3: If you don't know what you're doing, at least do it neatly.

 

Rule #4: Hiccups and pipettes don't mix.

[Note: In biology lab, pipetting is done by mouth. In chemistry, a pipette bulb is used to draw liquid into the glass tubes.]

Rule #5: Assume all unmarked beakers contain a highly toxic, fast-acting poison.

Rule #6: You can't detect an odorless gas by smell.

Rule #7: If you don't know what a button does, do not push it.

(smile!)

fishface and the 3 fish

Today, we went to the cinema again!

And get this: she had promised to take a photo of me there...

and she did!!!

It wasn't until after the movie, but she did it!

I don't think her friend Barbara even blinked when she told her she had promised me she would do so.

(catfish grin!)

Afterward, the two of them stood in the parking lot for a while and talked, as usual.

What were they talking about?

Not me...

not the amiga's two students being tutored...

not the money pits called houses...

not even about the movie.

Weird, right?

Here's something even stranger: Faustina was doing most of the talking!

That's unheard of... but true!

(catfish grin!)

So, what was the topic of her musings?

Seafood.

Seriously.

Not just any seafood, either.

She wanted to eat fish.

I guess that isn't so odd, as she does like fish and eats salmon and tuna regularly.

Still, that isn't what she wanted this time.

Nope.

She wanted flounder.

That's right, I said it: flounder.

That's a fish that most restaurants don't have.

So, where to go?

Then a dish popped into her mind!

The Captain's Platter!

Well, there was only one place to get that.

So, off to Carey the H we all went!

But did she order that favorite of her middle brother?

Nope.

She didn't want that other seafood with that dish, just the fish.

So she ordered the Combo of 3...

and ordered three different fillets.

The waitress, Kaliyah, never heard of anyone doing that before.

I don't know that any of the servers heard of that, nor the cooks, either.

But that's what Faustina did!

And aren't they just lovely?

Flounder, catfish, and tilapia, all laid out there side by side!

And, as delicious as it was, and as much as she wanted to eat it all up, she only made it through the flounder and half of the catfish.

How do I know?

That's because she had to get a take-out box for the rest!

I got to savor the aromas all the way home.

Very nice!

(catfish grin!)

fishface and the roof ghosts

Just look at those characters up there!

She snapped this photograph as we were leaving.

However, I was present for the entire time, keeping watch as the man was tromping around up there.

The three women were all inside the whole time until about an hour ago, then Lisa, a new neighbor, left.

That's a little after Susan's husband arrived to lend the man a hand, hoisting the creatures out the windows.

I know, it seems a bit early for them to be doing this, what with the BYOP pumpkin party not scheduled until the end of next month, right?

But the snap of the temperatures a week ago must have snapped something in their minds, too, because here we are, with The Koz doing his part for their cause!

Nice pun I made, isn't it?

I think Faustina will like it.

(smile!)

She was in the house with Dawn for four hours, doing what she did last year to help them.

Namely, she was putting AA and AAA batteries - get the pirate joke? - into the ghouls and clowns and creepy stuff to make them come to life.

Sometimes, she would have to whack them to get them to take that first breath about being immersed in storage bins since the last party.

She showed me this shot she took before their snack break, with most of Dawn's inside characters good to go.

She said she liked the little dog, the two-faced mayor from "Nightmare Before Christmas", the 'holler back" giggly pumpkin, and the sashaying mobster pirate best.

She really does have a thing for pirates.

Oh, and did you notice that she's in the mirror?

Pure serendipity, that!

And where is she now?

Well, after two bins of The Koz's characters got re-energized, the end of the session had come and she popped off to the 4 PM of "the Denzel movie".

So, here I wait, her little fishface, in the cinema parking lot.

So nice to be here again!

the return of my lil fishface!!!

She's back where she belongs, home with me, in her very own driveway, after a week gone away.

Just look at that happy grin on her face!

That's very much the same happy grin I wore when I walked into Firestone to pay her tab and fetch her.

Michael even mentioned to all there that he could tell I was thrilled by the smile all over my face!

(smile!)

And doesn't my Saturn look pleased as punch after her luxurious spa vacation?

A bit of firming up there, some toning over here, and a wash of new fluids all around!

I'd say some of that was called for anyway, as she has reached the mileage of 230,800.

That's what she read upon returning home.

Right place, right time.

Well, I say that.

I hadn't actually looked at the odometer then.

However, after I left the Smiths & Kamerons Friday Fiesta, I caught the reading: 230,803.

I know from 14 years of working for my brother Smitty that the distance from my house to his business in Sandfly was almost exactly three miles.

Maybe that familiarity with the area, and its association in my mind with spending time with him, is yet another reason I look forward to these Friday gatherings.

(smile!) 

 

So, here's the list of work my fishface had done.

Those which were a result of the behemoth pick-up truck that ran me off the road will be in bold italics; the other work was past due on being needed.

 

Repaired rim of driver's side front tire

New tire on driver's side front

New front struts

New tie rod ends on front

Wheel alignment

New radiator

Coolant flush

Two new tires

New wheel cylinders on rear

New brake fluid

Oil change and new oil filter

 

Altogether, her vacation cost $3205.39 - and that's only because her rims are steel rather than aluminum, allowing the damaged one to be repaired rather than replaced.

Also, I was granted the wheel alignment for free, as well as discounts on the brake work, the full synthetic oil change, and the tires.

Thank you, Michael, for the generous discounts and patient understanding.

Thank you, Tramaine, for the fabulous work on my girl.

And thank You, God, for granting me the joy of continuing to drive my little fishface.

(smile!)

day 7 of i miss my car: being a peacock kid

"Do you remember, the 21st night of September..."

That's tonight.

"I know! You've had the Elvis post-it on the kitchen cabinet awaiting the arrival of this date for the past few weeks! So, what's the scoop? Did you shake your tail feathers?"

I guess I could have for the first animated movie, but I did not. And the other three weren't really musically endowed, if you know what I mean.

"Wait a minute. Say what? I thought you were all excited about this date and its link to the Earth, Wind & Fire song. I didn't make that up, did I? You were excited about it, right?"

No, you're correct, I was. Then my Saturn got hurt and I've been a bit bummed out about it. I had it in my head that I'd get her back yesterday, but the parts haven't yet arrived. So, I woke up having a little pity party and have been trying to get myself out of my head. Watching a bunch of kid movies seemed the right path to take.

"You're done beating up the bushes?"

Trees, not bushes. And, no, I still have plenty of that to do. I even did some more yard work this afternoon between rain showers.

"Okay, I've got a better picture now of your state of mind. You're feeling a bit stranded, aren't you?"

Oh, I'm sure that's right. And even though that isn't real, even though I could ask others to drive me to wherever, I'm such a control freak that I don't want to do that.

"I think "independent" is the better word choice."

Whatever.

"Okay... so, tell me about the movies..."

Okay. Fine. Remember that I got six months of Peacock as a Comcast reward? Well, I set me up as the 'little peacock kid' icon, thinking the ex and Amy would eventually log in to their icons, though I don't think that's ever going to happen...

"Hello? Pity party is over. O-V-E-R. Get over your 1st world woe."

You're right. (Deep breath.) Okay. So, as the 'kid', I set up a queue of movies to eventually watch, mostly animated, but some live action. This morning, I decided to perk myself up with a Peacock Kids Film Festival, starting off with "Madagascar".

"Oh, that's fun! Chris Rock as a zebra having an existential crisis on his 10th birthday! Is he black with white stripes or white with black stripes??? LOL!"

Yes, that was pretty funny. It had some good tunes, too. It even has a song from today's artist of interest! "Boogie Wonderland" was one I used to dance to, though it's never been part of my karaoke repertoire. I prefer their "Shining Star" for singing!

"Well, that was a good start for your festival! Then what?"

Well, then it kinda sorta went downhill. I figured that since that one was set at the zoo, I'd go to another that was related to that location. However, "Zoo Wars" turned out to be about the Zooverse and was a parody of "Star Wars". At first, I thought it was pretty cute. After all, it had a Horton The Elephant - from the land of Dr. Seuss! - hearing a voice, but not that of a Who. With the name 'Nuke', he was transported from his computer geek terminal into a space ship with a C3PO-like character who was "named after an '80's band", though no one was sure if that was B-52s or UB40.

"Sounds like a lot of punny business going on!"

You'd think, right? Only they didn't know when to end the gag. Like SNL, they would ride it far, far, far, far too long - much as I just did with those superlatives.

"Yikes."

Indeed. I'm glad it was as short a movie as it was. It got a bit tiresome. Still, I had liked that it was of the scifi genre, so I stayed there for the next choice, "two Tails". Both were from 2018, which was interesting as a side note. Both turned out to have less than three stars in their IMDB ratings. Ack. At least this one was done by Russian artists and brought a little something different with their interpretation of American culture.

"Russian cartoon???"

No, Russian animation. The story had three nice aliens come to Earth in search of a power disk they had lost. They come upon Bob the Beaver and Max the Cat. The best part of the movie was near the end, when three evil aliens had captured the animals. Bob helps them all escape by singing Max's favorite song, "I Will Survive". That mirrored what Marty the Zebra had done for his best friend, Alex the Lion, by singing the King of the Jungle's fav tune, "New York, New York (On The Town)".  What a great way of showing their friend that they truly listened to them!

"Most definitely! But how did the song help against the aliens?"

The aliens didn't like the sound of singing. They were fine with music, just not with people lifting their voices to it. I thought that was pretty funny. That's about the time I went out to work on the tree limbs for a while.

"Good! That was a nice break from being in the house, got you up and moving."

That's right. Then I put on "Jungle Shuffle", staying with my theme of animals, but bouncing to the tropical island portion of the first movie. I was expecting a good deal of dancing, but there really wasn't much of that. I liked it, as it had a different flavor than I expected.

"How was that?"

Well, I thought it was American, since it had Rob Schneider, Tom Arnold, and Alicia Silverstone voicing three of the characters. But it wasn't! This one came from artists of South Korea, Mexico, and Columbia. No wonder the jungle had a realistic feel that reminded me of the mangrove swamp in Panama!

"Very nice! So you had a nice dose of international films with your little festival!"

I did! And that was pure happenstance. What a blessing! Like seeing this misplaced blossom in my Japanese magnolia this afternoon. Such a blessing that I would have missed, had I not had yard work calling me outside. Little blessings are the best.

"Little blessings ARE the best."

voices of the past: students

Dear Professor Smith,

I found this on the internet and thought it was hilarious, and I figured a chemistry professor (MY chemistry teacher) would like it, too. 

Cheers,

Rachael Abraham (2011)

Ms. Smith,

I enjoyed your class... both of them.

Brad Twesne (2000)

 

Dr. Faustina Smith manages to instruct class in a fun and interesting way while still maintaining a safe, educational environment for students. She is a very helpful professor that makes the learning experience enjoyable and the material easy to understand.

Olivia Dean (2008)

Professor Smith,

You are a great teacher and I like the way you taught this semester. I wouldn't change anything about this course. When I needed help you were always open and free to talk to. I really enjoy coming to your class and I'm excited about taking you again next semester!

Jessie W (2010)

Wonderful experience in class. 

Fun teacher allowed open opinions and great examples. 

Was available for further questions and help.

Hillary Simmons (2008)

It was a little fast for me, but when I figured it out it made a lot of sense.

Kim B (2010)

 

Excellent teacher with an encouraging and entertaining personality. Great professor who really helps students to understand what I perceive to be a difficult subject. Perfect setup with lecture and lab info.

Christi J (2010)

 

Very understanding and helpful!

One of the most sincere and caring prof I have EVER been blessed enough to have enabling my college education!

Kayla Shattles (2008)

 

Dr. Smith is an excellent professor.

I have enjoyed her class and I have learned the material much better this time.

Chloe G (2000)

 

Mrs. Smith is a fun teacher. I do not know if it is because of the lab experiments or her, that I enjoy the class (it's her!). She has a bubbly personality. The class was understandable for me and fun to take.

Tomica Vance (2010)

 

Greetings Doctor Smith!

I hope this email finds you well and in high spirits. I just wanted to apologize for my frequent absences from our 6-7:15 pm lectures on Mondays and Wednesdays and to clarify as to why I've been so flaky. I work full time as an assistant manager at a retail store in order to pay for school and apartment. I am not intentionally missing classes, however I do hope that you will be understanding of which. I will be unable to attend lab tonight but am more than willing to come to your 11:30 lab Thursday morning.

I actually am quite fond of your class and lab specifically. It's so interesting how the information crosses between the two. You do a fine job finding real life examples for both the experiments and the correlation of material covered in class. I look forward to the rest of the semester and will see you soon... Monday, haha!

Forever a Chemist,

Megan Taylor (2012)

 

Made the labs fun and made sure we got them done! I only had her for lab but it was excellent!

Brandon Camp (2008)

 

Hi Mrs. Smith,

I just wanted to stop by and say that I am sooooooo happy about my last test score. I thought it was higher, but I was so thankful that it was an 82. I just want to say thank you for all your support and pushing me to do better. I might not come out of your class with a "B" but I learned something about MYSELF that will help me in other classes. Thanks again!!!

Thank you,

Gerkerea Hodges (2011)

 

Very good teaching practices, made it easy to learn and pass this class.

David Capasso (2008)

 

THANKS! btw you made my transition from high school to college a little better... I thought all the teachers do is just talk and then leave but you remembered my name which makes me feel like I'm not just a number and you joked around with us in labs and even in class sometimes. So, thank you! <-)

Taiyana Stephens (2010)

 

Great class, learned a lot.

Not Professor's fault, but lab supplies were not always plentiful, resulting in taking a long time to complete lab.

I've taken 2 chemistries in high school.

This is the first time I have understood it enough to make higher than a C, thanks to Professor Smith.

Marshall Green (2008)

[Note: Eventually returned to Armstrong as a psychology professor!]

 

Dr. Smith,

I wanted to let you know how much I enjoy your class and how you teach. I was terrified that I would not be able to keep up with the class, but your style of teaching has provided me with the confidence I did not have in myself.  I wish all my professors were like you. 

Thank you so much for truly caring about the students.

You don't realize this but you have made an enormous impact on my life.

Again, thank you for caring.

Louis D'Angelo (2011)

[Note: He was retired military and had just begun college.]

 

I really enjoyed Mrs. Smith this semester. I started the class out thinking "it's chemistry, this will be boring" but you fooled me completely. You keep the class together on the material and always went out of your way to make sure we understood the information given. And encouraged us to form study groups with fellow classmates and I believe that was the extra boost I need to become successful in passing your class. Thanks, Professor Smith. Keep up the good work. :-)

Professor Smith I really enjoyed having lab with you because you kept the lab interesting and yet fun. Those weekly quizzes we take really help also as a tool to make sure we understand the information and material for the weekly lab and that we are not just doing the lab and leaving. I really can say that I have learned plenty rom you this semester and thanks for the extra time you gave me to ask class questions after lab.

Sara Floyd (2010)

day 6 of i miss my car: taking it out on the yard

I was scheduled for luncheon at Funky Brunch with a new meetup group, but that was made null and void by the jerk in the behemoth pick-up truck.

Damn.

As I could not vent my anger at that faceless, cowardly, bully driving that vehicle, I turned to the trees in my back yard.

Those always need pruning, and I have found that hard physical labor is great for loss adjustment, as well as misplaced rage.

I think this image from a former student pretty well captured my mood on this sixth day of no wheels.

Ian Z had drawn it to demonstrate his understanding of the difference between precision and accuracy, in response to a Lab Final Exam question.

As shown, the "intended target" for the gun is the bullseye, so his aim cannot be said to be "accurate"; however, as all three bullets made a tight pattern in the chest of the rude neighbor who never cleans up after a pooping dog, his aim certainly was "precise".

He definitely made me laugh with that one!

I laughed again when I found it in a stack of old comment sheets this morning.

(smile!) 

Sometime soon, I'll commit those comments to this sandy beach, but not right now.

The weather has cooled considerably this week, even going to the 60's at night.

I've spent most of this 'evening at home' in the back yard.

That scrub oak by the bird bath?

Branches sawed off all the way around, dropping it to half its height.

That scrub oak to the left of the shed door?

Its 2-inch diameter trunk was set upon by my hand saw until the top toppled.

Those horrid overgrown red-tip trees along the back?

Limbs sliced and torn until the wood of the popsicle fence could be seen.

Then, I hauled most of that hot mess to the front yard and stacked it by the curb.

There it shall wait until next Wednesday, when the city hauls it off.

Good.

Meanwhile, I can look at those four piles and feel a sense of accomplishment.

That's good, too.

day 5 of i miss my car: tina tuesday

I've been out every day, even without my dear Saturn escorting me.

Friday, Tony and Laura gave me a ride up to the Smiths & Kamerons Friday Fiesta.

They had actually just driven up at that Jalapenos when I called...

but they came back for me anyway.

That's love.

i thank You, God.

I even got to ride around with them after dinner, just cruising around town.

We even went by Desposito's, now that it's open again.

I told them about taking Ronnie there for his birthday one year.

That may have been for his 40th birthday, but I don't recall.

The nice part was catching the sunset at the end of the drive tonight.

I hadn't realized the days were already about an hour shorter.

 

I've already talked about the weekend, as well as last night.

But how am I spending my days?

Partly I've been researching car insurance with emergency road service plans.

That isn't exactly fun.

That's why yesterday afternoon was an exercise in getting out of my head.

What better way than connecting with family!

Specifically, I sent love in the mail to my movie-going greats.

Now, that was certainly fun, and was a good distraction for a couple of hours!

I had all kinds of stickers, so I made sure each family group got different batches.

The occasion I was celebrating with them is the First Day of Autumn.

Why not?

Even though the weather is cooling, we still have colorful leaves to look forward to soon.

Meanwhile, they'll have plenty of colorful stickers, enough to share with friends.

They'll like that.

I even got them ready in time for the mailman!

(smile!)

This morning I finished off the last of the meat from Texas Roadhouse.

That grilled pork chop was a great addition to this hearty brunch! 

That gave me plenty of energy for the task at hand.

Today, I've been going through my filing cabinet again.

Sometimes I wonder why I'm keeping all that paper.

I think it's left over from my days in the Navy.

Having a paper trail of proof was a way to stay out of trouble, so I made sure to have that.

Here's the difference: I'm weeding out old papers more often.

That's a good thing!

 

Then mi amiga, Barbara, was here about 6 PM!

We went to the NCG cinema, just as we had last Tuesday.

(smile!)

That time, we had "Bottoms", a film about two high school lesbians trying to make contact with the pretty cheerleaders they had a crush on.

Very funny!

This time, it was a rootin' tootin', six-gun shootin' western from Michael Jai White and his Jaigantic production company. 

Very funny, in the same vein as "Blazing Saddles", MJW's "Outlaw Johnny Black" is loaded with stereotypes and magic moments.

And, get this: he even has Barry Bostwick as the land baron bad guy!

"Oh, Brad!"

"Oh, Janet!"

Oh, hahahaha!

I do hope this cinema on Skidaway will keep having these unusual movies!

(smile!)

But I did have one moment that almost made me cry.

We were there pretty early for the movie, so I walked next door to Firestone.

The store manager told me they were still waiting for some of the parts to come in.

That meant that Thursday was off the table for me to get my car back.

I assured him that I understood, that I would be patient.

Then, as I walked back through the parking lot, I placed my hand on my Saturn, to reassure my car that help was coming...

and very nearly burst into tears.

Sigh.

At least I got myself under control before I reached the cinema.

I miss my car.