While I was in Florida this last bit, I had sent cards out.
One of those went to Carlisle, Pennsylvania, to my friend, Melanie.
I had enclosed the above Jumble in the note, to let her know it had reminded me of her and her love of The Doors, especially Jim Morrison.
I knew it would appeal to her sense of humor, too, as it had to mine.
She and I have known each other since fall semester of 1988.
I was a teaching assistant for a chemistry recitation and she was one of the students, there at Florida State University. She and I became very close friends, going out to movies and malls and concerts! We were best friends!
Three years later, I was renting one of the bedrooms in her apartment. I had been living with a guy down there and the relationship had gone sour. Thank God for her friendship and generosity!
Time went on. I met my man from Michigan and got married in 1992. She had a 'complicated' relationship with a man in Maryland.
More time passed. I got divorced in 2007. I started going to Virginia and Maryland to visit her. She and Scott got married a few years later. They even met me and a friend in Virginia once during my week there in May of 2011. That was very nice!
Then, in 2013, I went to Carlisle to visit them for a few days. What a wonderful time we three had! But when she and I had time alone together, I had noticed her withdrawal from society there. She wasn't working, she wasn't volunteering anywhere, she was staying home, concentrating on the yard and the house. Sure, we went to the Amish festival and had a grand day of it - truly! We also spent much of a day at a lovely museum and had dinner at a favorite barbeque place. She even had Scott take us all to a Belgian restaurant one night! When I left, I had encouraged her to join a gardening club or get involved with some of the DIY classes at the nearby Home Depot. She needed to have some local friends, I had told her, and not just stay closed off all the time.
She didn't go that, though. I had even told her about the meetup groups, where she could join in to favorite activities with like-minded folk. I even sent her some links to make that easier for her.
Time continued its march. I had hoped to go visit her again in 2016, but I couldn't drive much that year. The carpal tunnel syndrome in both hands kept me close to Savannah almost all of that year. She and I kept in touch during Hurricane Matthew and its aftermath. She and I also kept in touch over her health issues: she'd been found to have breast cancer, needing surgery and radiation to combat it.
That's when something went amiss. I kept contacting her, but she was not interested in long conversations, either by phone or email. That was okay, I knew when to let her have her space. I knew she would contact me when she wanted to talk.
But she didn't.
I sent cards and letters, but had no response most of the time.
That changed this month.
She had emailed me on the 11th to thank me for the card. I was thrilled to hear from her, but concerned by her message. She was down on fb, down on marriage, down on life.
I immediately sent a reply - how was she doing since the breast cancer, were they still married, letting her know I was there, I cared.
Her reply the next day spoke of him not being there during the surgeries (including reconstruction) and her not having anyone really to depend on but herself. She'd had two more cancer scares, one just six months earlier.
I opted to lighten the tone. How good it was that the cancer had been caught so early and not returned! How glad I was that she still had Scott as I had been alone - but still hopeful - for the past seven years! I had even asked about the bird boxes she had put up in the yard, noting her creativity. Then I had told her I was off to see "Beauty And The Beast" and how much I loved Dan Stevens' voice, and left her a blog link.
I had hoped that link might spark some dialogue with her... and it did, but all dark. No, she didn't watch Disney movies because of 'the Pedo ring bust down in Florida'. No, she didn't watch Hollywood movies anymore because 'the leads are usually trannies'. No, she didn't talk or read blogs anymore because 'most of the people on there are either liberal, globalist, snowflakes, idiots who drink fluorinated water, trannies, gays, were educated in the dumbed down Obama system, idiots who still think Michelle Obama is a woman lol, etc etc etc.'
I had asked, "Is there nothing that still brings you joy?"
She immediately took umbrage, accusing me of judging her, telling me I had not walked in her shoes. Her terse message read, "Leave me the Fck alone. Have a nice day."
That was last night.
I sent the following message this afternoon.
"Melaness, I was NOT judging you.
As you wish, I will leave you alone."
Then I went to the Lucas. I ushered for the NTL production of "The Curious Incident Of The Dog In The Night-time", a play that had very much touched me when I saw it at the Regal in mid-June. More on that another day...
When I returned, she had replied.
"Thank you."
Now, I'm at a loss.
How long should I leave her alone? Well, at least through the end of the year. Perhaps she will contact me over the holidays, as she has in the past.
Should I try to contact her husband? No, that would be an awful idea. She would certainly resent that and treat it as an act behind her back... and she would be correct to regard it that way.
Should I try to contact her family in Missouri? Well, I could... but that would meet with resentment, too. I do not want her to think I'm working against her wishes.
That means I wait for her to hold the olive branch to me.
Rather, I will wait until the coming year.
She responds to mailed correspondence, so I will try that avenue of contact.
Perhaps I will suggest a visit to her next summer in the letter I send.
She and I have been friends far too long to end on this note.
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