barnacles

Every month, we at Armstrong are treated to a faculty talk as part of the Robert I. Strozier Faculty Lecture Series. You may recall that I took a course from him, back in 1985 or 1986, when my electives were populated with literature or theatre topics. I credit Dr. Strozier with introducing me to William Faulkner's works.
(smile)

Much of the time these days, I have other fish to fry on a Friday...but this talk's title tugged me forward.
What was that title, you ask?
“Change Can Kill: What Barnacles Can Teach Us About Dying Young”
Paul Dunn was going to talk about ocean life?
Sure, I would be up for that!
Plus, it was "Galley Days", so lunch would only be five bucks!
Plus, the bfe would be there for his APARS and I could sit with him!

And so it all came to pass that I and the bfe shared company in the Ogeechee Theater at noon today...
though for two completely different reasons.
Not surprisingly, we heard two completely different messages.

I heard discourse about the high mortality of barnacles when young.
For instance, almost fifty percent of the eggs in an egg sac never produce viable young. Almost a third of the eggs subjected to sperm fail to produce any offspring at all. (That's hardly surprising, given the high number of sperm which must assail an egg to weaken its defenses such that one sperm can successfully fertilize it.)
About seventeen percent of those eggs that hatch bear offspring which are faulty and die almost immediately.
That leaves fifty percent of offspring that emerge triumphant from this first change (fetus to nauplius 1) and swim toward the water's surface to feast on plankton.
Of those swimmers, another forty to fifty percent never reach adulthood. They succumb as food for predators, mostly, during this swimming phase, then do not survive the transition into, or out of, the metamorphosis to their non-swimming attached-to-surface-surrounded-by-cement-wall barnacle as we know them.
In other words, only about twenty-five percent of all barnacle ova ever make it past that first month and heading toward a reproductive life of their own.
When you consider the numerous eggs in an ovary, and how few develop into healthy infants, it's clear that the reproductive capability of Earth animals, including humans, has remained at this level since life first began on this blue-green orb. That's pretty amazing!
We are not any more special than a barnacle when it comes to making more of our species.

The bfe was fascinated by the thought of barnacle orgies.
Please, try to recall that the minds of fourteen-year-old boys are concentrated on thoughts of all the sex they wish they were having. (I was recently reminded of this while watching "IT" with Kevin, per his request, on Tuesday. Think "The Goonies" and it was pretty bearable, though not nearly as good.)
His attention had not been that keen on the lecture itself. However, when someone asked about the actual reproductive technique of the beasts, he perked up. Then, when the lecturer spoke of the super-long penis of a barnacle, the bfe was rapt. Add in that the arthropods are hermaphroditic and send those penises questing in all directions, such that one egg sac in one barnacle could be subjected to splooge from a multitude of adjacent barnacles... well, that made the whole talk worthwhile!
I wonder what he would think if he knew the penis was then detached after its quest, much like in the punk song/poem of the 1990's? Then again, the physicist knows a guy who had prostate cancer; I wonder if that guy uses a detachable penis for sex?
Actually, I think he might be terrified of recent studies that show the penis doesn't even have to make contact for fertilization to occur. Just shooting its wad into the ocean and allowing currents to move it past other barnacles will also do the trick. So, a barnacle egg sac could bear forth young and still be a virgin, so to speak.

Now, there's a thought to share with my aquatic minister!
Perhaps that was the technique employed by the Holy Spirit to impregnate the Virgin Mary?