(The following all came from facebook posts.)
An accumulation of white precipitation will shoot across the lower southern portion of the United States. Expect for long periods of lasting hard cold temperatures to rocket into the week. Tennessee will get to see the smear of this white substance into the week as it penetrates further northeast.
A woman can't even check the weather without getting an unsolicited dick pic...
Storm expected to schwing in overnight...
I’m sick and tired of being promised 6-7 inches and only getting 4!!!
I guess you could say Mother Nature really has a hard on for the gulf coast lately.
I figured there would be more than 4 inches. Well this is Almost as disappointing as my ex-husband was.
I wish I could add to the puns but cumming up with boner jokes is so HARD.
Mississippi is like a highschool girl. She is being promised just the tip as well
Storms definitely going to penetrate deep down south
There should always be a warning when it's more than 6 inches.
I'm sorry but I'm gonna need a warning when it's less than 6 inches cuz that's just a surprise no one wants ....
Hopefully since it's the first time in a while the storm will prematurely finish, and start to rest a little early leaving us very unimpressed with the overall experience.
I thought it was supposed to shrink when it was cold
Mississippi needs to play the “headache” card...
This storm isnt dicking around.....
As you look at the map, it appears that Central to East Texas, South Arkansas, and Northern parts of Louisiana will get shafted. While Mississippi will get the tip of the storm.
Hey, Texas, is that a snow storm in your pocket, or are you just happy to see us?!
Just the tip will get you in alot of trouble.
That's what she said
And Tennessee will get the white stuff that blows in from Arkansas!
Actually looks like East Texas got sacked.
Just the tip, at first to see how it feels, then “ouch, ouch you’re on my hair”
Everything really is bigger in Texas...
Mississippi and Alabama better look out, it's cumming their way..
Just look at the size of that...
Johnson, you gotta see this thing floating over Texas. It's the shape of a...
Richard, come check this out. It's like a huge...
Peter, I don't know you, but have you seen this enormous...
That storm is gonna cold cock Texas.
That's a big beautiful pink meat cannon, sure to leave alotta white stuff on the ground in its wake.
I feel like Texas always gets the shittier end of the deal, and gets stuck dealing with the hairier part of the situation. Some will say Arkansas is taking a good pounding, but I think Louisiana got the shaft in this deal too. Be safe folks, stay covered.
I wonder if it's going into the mouth of the Mississippi
Does anyone have a Plan B for when this is over?
When it finally comes does Louisiana have to pretend they enjoyed it as well?
I'm just hoping mother nature shoots blanks... No snow!!
We are going to feel the affects of this storm for the next 9 months.
Just read through many many amazingly humorous comments, without the context of why, then revisited the map. LOL soooo much richer now, all I needed to get the jizt of it!!
Bring on the October babies
apparently the forecast is calling for extra protection
Tennessee is about to learn about the "just the tip" game
*** Don’t let this distract you from knowing you can’t spell advertisements without semen between the tits
Looks like a bone chilling cold front
This cold weather is re-dickulous!!
So, old man winter is just gonna whip his dick out on us like that. Not even taking us out any more. Smh. Probably won't call or text afterwards either. Typical.
This is too big to swallow!
There's a spot in Galveston that rarely ever gets snow. If this storm hits the G-Spot, you'll know it's a serious storm.
Most likely won't perform as promised. Keep expectations low...
always thought texans were dicks. i was wrong, mostly just nuts.
Tennessee.. the tip of this thing is knocking on your back door.
Hey Rocketman, our missile is bigger, longer, thicker and uncut and headed straight for your sh!thole!!
It looks as though Tennessee and the Carolinas are going to get covered when this storm releases its fury
I can just picture all of the girls outside with their mouths open trying to catch sprinkles on their tongues!
This thing is GINORMOUS.. So much for shrinkage.
Southern Louisiana can expect to get pounded with 6+ inches, leaving white film all over the place.
Looks like we are all getting shafted today. Mother Nature has strapped one on and she is about it unleash it on us all.
Afterwards we will all be sleeping in a giant wet spot
I'm assuming the wind advisory in New Mexico is the tail end of this storm... obviously not as serious, but could still cause some brown outs.
This goes to show you, you could lay dick from Texas to Mississippi and someone's still going to be left unsatisfied.
Maybe it's time that Texas rethinks that "abstinence only" education. Are they even prepared for this?
My, that’s huge! Just remember, It’s really not that bad once you take a deep breath and relax. Panicking just makes it worse.
After talking up a big game, the storm didn't last very long. He claims it has never happened to him before. It's just because Texas is so hot, he couldn't last.
I guess one good thing is going to come out of this storm... No one is going to be cock blocked. It's like a Christmas episode of Oprah. You get a winter cock, you get a winter cock, everybody gets a winter cock
Can’t wait to see that thing go off!!! Never seen one that size ever produce anything good!!! It’s usually disappointing!!
It’s expected to be a long, hard few days but if we all work together, I think we can come out on top bigger and stronger than before.
Like all storms, it will Peter out..
While Texas rams its way through the other states New Mexico is just sitting there like a cuckhold holding the camera saying this is not what I expected from "let's try new things, SUSAN"". lol
Mississippi knows it's never 'just the tip' they're not falling for that line again.
As you can see Tom, the base of this storm is really planted in central Texas, but it really stiffens up as it penetrates deep into the guts of Arkansas and Mississippi, while Louisiana is just wondering why it even got invited over.
Father natures clearly out here screwing around and y'all are still trying to say mother natures just being crazy....typical
See what happens when you keep calling people snowflakes? You get a blizzard. Still think snowflakes are weak? Welcome to the deep freeze.
Boy this storm might blow it's load.. Be careful out there. Bound to be slippery out there. Sure hope the school closure wasn't done prematurely. Everyone hates that
Well, the big front has caused some cold blowing making it pretty hard down down there but as long as you wrap up before it hits, you can save yourself a lot of extra wetness from this tight pressure system working it's way down and trying to really stick it to us in the end. It shouldn't last very long considering it's size however looks can be deceiving as some of the smaller ones have been known to really pack a lot of power although by most accounts they normally are just filled with a lot of hot air. The bigger ones often show stamina and consistency butt - in other news... In Chinese astrology, I'm the Cock.
Oh my! I believe in humanity again thanks to these comments! I love being from the south where this is normal conversation!!! We are the best part of the country.
So this is why they call it the dirty south.
Now now, everyone let's get serious for a second. Be safe & don't try diving in dangerous conditions such as these. It's the worst idea since going to a party with a boner in sweatpants
I’m just here to tell y’all women about black pipe...I mean black ice
In a few thousand years, some alien historian is going to stumble across this post and read the comments and finally understand, after years of study, exactly how we humans, a clever and able species, managed to let ourselves get caught in another ice age, for we were too busy making dick jokes to flee, and I'm ok with that.
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