happy 60th, Doug!

Here he is,
the birthday guy!
What's that in his hand,
you ask?
Why, that's the
birthday gift from me!
He really liked that I had
a tree planted in his honor -
my thanks to the
Arbor Day Foundation!
My thanks to Amy,
Doug's wife of 17 years,
for inviting me
to this 'pool players'
surprise birthday party
for the big man!

In fact, that's Amy Povie on the couch, snuggled up to her man!
To their left - that would be your right - are Rob and Lindsay Norman, whose house served as the perfect party place for all the families that came.
Yes, that's right - familes! So many kids of various ages playing games and having fun! There were even some who dared to get in the pool - but the water was far too cool for me.
I preferred hanging out and catching up with folks I don't see nearly often enough.
Plus, I spoke with a fellow who does physical therapy about my right knee. I was so reassured when he told me I was doing exactly the right thing to allow it to heal!
(smile)

I even tried a fairly local beer,
out of Marietta, Georgia,
from Red Hare Brewing Company.
(Rob has always been good
about having plenty
of novelty brews
for all to sample.)
I must say, it was Babe Rabbit
taking a swing
that attracted me to the can,
but I was hooked
after the first sip.
I just may have to get a little
of this Classic Craft
Light Lager for myself.
Thanks, Rob!
And many thanks to Amy
for the fried chicken
and collard greens that went home with me!
I do hope we'll all see each other again soon!
(smile)

el regreso of tulip fever to the revolutionists!

I have traveled to the capital cities of Costa Rica and of the Netherlands today, and I shall soon travel to a third capital city - that of France.
Not only have I been bopping hither and yon geographically, but I've also been traipsing into other time periods. I started in San Jose in the present, then flew backward to the 17th century in bustling Amsterdam - what a journey! In less than an hour, I'll pop into Paris in the late 18th century - amazing!
The cost of all of my travels?
Less than nine dollars.
In actuality, I was first at the Ogeechee Theatre on the Armstrong campus and then drove over to screening room 11 at the Wynnsong - pardon, AMC - Cinema. Back again on the ASU campus, my next stop is the Black Box of Jenkins Hall.
The two events at the school have been free.
I only incurred cost at the cinema, and most of that was for my popcorn snack.
Truly blessed am I!

I thank the Spanish Film Club for "El Regreso". A 2012 film, it follows the plight of Antonio as he returns to his family home after a decade in New York. His BFF, Cesar, wastes no time in chiding him for not keeping in touch, for throwing away his family and friends like a spoiled 'princess' - very funny!
Also very funny? The clueless Antonio is in the supermarket when a childhood sweetheart, Sofia, finds him... and he is laughably oblivious to her advances - the guy behind me was cracking up, too!
(smile)
I very much enjoyed this film about family and friends and the love of people who have known you for years and years... and the importance of repairing the father-son relationship before one or the other dies.

I thank the Armstrong Masquers for "The Revolutionists", placing me in the City of Lights with four strong women. How will I like this leg of today's journey?
Well, I'll have to let you know!
Now, off I go to 1793 and France!

i thank You, God

As I walked toward the front building at Savannah Tech yesterday, my focus was upward.
Upward, literally, toward the beautiful blue and the swirling fluffs!
Upward, where the curve of the man-made structure met the natural dome above it!
i thank You, God, for such inspiration to begin my week!

This afternoon, I was strolling back to my office at Armstrong from a noon meeting.
Such gorgeous fall flowers, silently trumpeting their siren call -
waiting patiently for the glorious palette to be noticed!
i thank You, God, for the abundance of natural beauty!

i thank You, too, for the inspiration to transform this Tuesday with Kevin into a simple and leisurely dinner.
With no movie to catch, we enjoyed conversation and company for more than two hours.
That was a much needed delight for both of us, a respite from the world's requests.

i thank You, God.

of endings and beginnings

Early this afternoon, I was in Hinesville to say farewell to Bob's Mom.
Jerry Wiley had died on Tuesday, sometime in the early hours of the day.
Bob had found out that evening, after sending the neighbor to check on her when he had no response to several calls.
I found out on Thursday, via facebook posts.

Once upon a time, I would find myself on a karaoke stage, taking turns with Bob and Angela and Shelley and Donna and Sam, singing to Jerry. That was on those nights when Sam Johnson would be the KJ, singing favorites with his rich voice.
Jerry and Bob were there on that final night of Sam's life. What a fun evening, filled with song and laughter and smiles!

What a merry band we were on that warm night of April 19, 2009!
I'm so glad I had the thought to snap this photo.
Jerry doesn't even seem to have aged in all these years.
Now, as I told Bob, "I'm sure Sam is regaling her with "Green Green Grass of Home" once more."

The ceremony lasted almost an hour.
The minister used verses from Ecclesiastes about birth and death, beginnings and endings.
Tori, the elder son's wife, read the poem, "Do Not Stand At My Grave And Weep".

*****
"Do Not Stand At My Grave And Weep
By Mary Elizabeth Frye

Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there; I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow,
I am the diamond glints on snow,
I am the sun on ripened grain,
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there; I did not die."
*****

Kristal, one of the granddaughters, played "Home", a favorite song by Daughtry.

*****
"I'm staring out into the night, trying to hide the pain
I'm going to the place where love
And feeling good don't ever cost a thing
And the pain you feel's a different kind of pain

Well, I'm going home, back to the place where I belong
And where your love has always been enough for me
I'm not running from, no, I think you got me all wrong
I don't regret this life I chose for me
But these places and these faces are getting old
So I'm going home, well I'm going home

The miles are getting longer, it seems, the closer I get to you
I've not always been the best man or friend for you
But your love remains true and I don't know why
You always seem to give me another try

So I'm going home, back to the place where I belong
And where your love has always been enough for me
I'm not running from, no, I think you got me all wrong
I don't regret this life I chose for me
But these places and these faces are getting old

Be careful what you wish for 'cause you just might get it all
You just might get it all and then some you don't want
Be careful what you wish for 'cause you just might get it all
You just might get it all, yeah

Oh, well I'm going home, back to the place where I belong
And where your love has always been enough for me
I'm not running from, no, I think you got me all wrong
I don't regret this life I chose for me
But these places and these faces are getting old
I said these places and these faces are getting old
So I'm going home, I'm going home."
*****

At the end, two young sailors from Kings Bay performed military honors while the third sailor blew "Taps" for her.
Very nice young men they are. I spoke with them before the service, thanking them for being there. The leader and I shared tales of Panama, of Devils Beach there - small world, isn't it?
Bob had received the flag from his dad's funeral twelve years ago.
His older brother, Michael, was given Jerry's flag.

I was surprised that the gathering was so small.
Less than twenty people were in attendance.
Still, the ceremony was heartfelt and had the ring of being just the way she would have wanted it.

i thank You God that i was there.

slippery slope in the octopus garden

I wasn't even doing any particularly tricky dance moves when it happened.
Abbey Road Live! was on stage, with the drummer - of course! - singing my go-to whistling song, "Octopus's Garden".
I had snagged a front-row seat so I could easily get up and dance in the side aisle, so that's what I was doing. However, I made two mistakes. My first was that I was wearing my sandals, which tend to grab carpet rather than slide. My second was not factoring in the angle of the side aisle.
So, there you go.
I came out of a counterclockwise twirl and went to put my right foot down... and it kept going, as the floor was a little farther down on that end of the aisle. That might have been okay, as I could have slid into another twirl, except my sandal grabbed and held my foot at that awkward position.
I knew immediately that I had overextended my right knee.
Ouch!
I managed to fake my way into dancing in place, being sure my left leg was firmly in play, then sat when the song ended. I stayed seated for a couple of songs.
Of course, by that time, the damage was done, n'est-ce pas?
So I got up and danced for several more songs, on the even floor in front of the stage.
How could I not?
(smile)
But I was sure to not do any more twirls.
(smile)

I simply had to dance, you know.
These four guys from Athens
roCkED the house!!!
They had started their first set
with "Back In The USSR",
pounding it out with
tons of energy!
"I Saw Her Standing There" -
the break-out song on the
Ed Sullivan Show in 1964 -
sounded fresh as a daisy!
"Here Comes The Sun",
"Nowhere Man", "Rocky Raccoon",
and so much more!

After the break -
and a change into flashy duds! -
they were riding high, "With A Little Help From My Friends",
'cause "I Want To Hold Your Hand"
while we "Twist and Shout"!
Plenty of color around with
"Blackbird" and that "Yellow
Submarine" for "Sgt. Pepper's
Lonely Heart Club Band"!
They also played Mama's song -
"When I'm 64" -
as well as "Birthday"
for the 14-year-old girl
up front and grandma in the back.
Such fun!!!

I finally managed to drive home, being as kind as I could to my damaged right knee. I tell you, working the gas pedal and brake became tiresome, but was not as painful as feeling the vibrations of the car through the floorboard while driving.
Now, I'm resting on the couch, leg up, with ibuprofen in me and ice upon my knee.
The bfe was just making his dinner and is keeping me company.
i thank You God for getting me safely home.

barnacles

Every month, we at Armstrong are treated to a faculty talk as part of the Robert I. Strozier Faculty Lecture Series. You may recall that I took a course from him, back in 1985 or 1986, when my electives were populated with literature or theatre topics. I credit Dr. Strozier with introducing me to William Faulkner's works.
(smile)

Much of the time these days, I have other fish to fry on a Friday...but this talk's title tugged me forward.
What was that title, you ask?
“Change Can Kill: What Barnacles Can Teach Us About Dying Young”
Paul Dunn was going to talk about ocean life?
Sure, I would be up for that!
Plus, it was "Galley Days", so lunch would only be five bucks!
Plus, the bfe would be there for his APARS and I could sit with him!

And so it all came to pass that I and the bfe shared company in the Ogeechee Theater at noon today...
though for two completely different reasons.
Not surprisingly, we heard two completely different messages.

I heard discourse about the high mortality of barnacles when young.
For instance, almost fifty percent of the eggs in an egg sac never produce viable young. Almost a third of the eggs subjected to sperm fail to produce any offspring at all. (That's hardly surprising, given the high number of sperm which must assail an egg to weaken its defenses such that one sperm can successfully fertilize it.)
About seventeen percent of those eggs that hatch bear offspring which are faulty and die almost immediately.
That leaves fifty percent of offspring that emerge triumphant from this first change (fetus to nauplius 1) and swim toward the water's surface to feast on plankton.
Of those swimmers, another forty to fifty percent never reach adulthood. They succumb as food for predators, mostly, during this swimming phase, then do not survive the transition into, or out of, the metamorphosis to their non-swimming attached-to-surface-surrounded-by-cement-wall barnacle as we know them.
In other words, only about twenty-five percent of all barnacle ova ever make it past that first month and heading toward a reproductive life of their own.
When you consider the numerous eggs in an ovary, and how few develop into healthy infants, it's clear that the reproductive capability of Earth animals, including humans, has remained at this level since life first began on this blue-green orb. That's pretty amazing!
We are not any more special than a barnacle when it comes to making more of our species.

The bfe was fascinated by the thought of barnacle orgies.
Please, try to recall that the minds of fourteen-year-old boys are concentrated on thoughts of all the sex they wish they were having. (I was recently reminded of this while watching "IT" with Kevin, per his request, on Tuesday. Think "The Goonies" and it was pretty bearable, though not nearly as good.)
His attention had not been that keen on the lecture itself. However, when someone asked about the actual reproductive technique of the beasts, he perked up. Then, when the lecturer spoke of the super-long penis of a barnacle, the bfe was rapt. Add in that the arthropods are hermaphroditic and send those penises questing in all directions, such that one egg sac in one barnacle could be subjected to splooge from a multitude of adjacent barnacles... well, that made the whole talk worthwhile!
I wonder what he would think if he knew the penis was then detached after its quest, much like in the punk song/poem of the 1990's? Then again, the physicist knows a guy who had prostate cancer; I wonder if that guy uses a detachable penis for sex?
Actually, I think he might be terrified of recent studies that show the penis doesn't even have to make contact for fertilization to occur. Just shooting its wad into the ocean and allowing currents to move it past other barnacles will also do the trick. So, a barnacle egg sac could bear forth young and still be a virgin, so to speak.

Now, there's a thought to share with my aquatic minister!
Perhaps that was the technique employed by the Holy Spirit to impregnate the Virgin Mary?

for families who still find a way to love

As I was watching "The Glass Castle", I found myself remembering Daddy and how close he and I had been.
I may not have been his 'mountain goat', but I knew he loved me.
Even when the alcohol and the gambling began to harm our family, I knew he loved me.
I also knew that the best decision my mother made was to divorce him before his ways did irreparable damage to us children.
i thank God that Mama was such a strong woman.

As the movie got into the last thirty minutes, it wasn't my father who came to mind.
No, Jeannette's dad reminded me only too well of my middle brother, Ronnie.
His abuse of alcohol, and other drugs, would have done irreparable damage to his children, if my outlaw Melinda had not divorced him.
Jeannette's mom refused to leave her husband.
The couple were twisted together such that she could not envision herself without him.
i thank God that Melinda was then, and still is, such a strong woman.

Perhaps Mama and Melinda drew much of their strength from their own mothers.
I do know both had loving, supportive female role models in their lives.
So many are not blessed with that good fortune.
Certainly, Jeannette's mom was not.
i thank You, God, for such blessings in my life.

frivolity

I guess that's a word too seldom used.

"What word, my dear?"

Frivolity.

"Well, sure. I guess most folks would just say 'fun' and be done with it."

I suppose that could be the reason that several of the 'Born in the 50's and 60's' group have taken a moment to 'like' my post.

"Your post about the Chilliwack music?"

Oh, no, I doubt that they are even aware that my beach exists in this little corner of the ether.
No, I was referring to my post on meetup about the "post-Irma Wine & Appetizer Pairing" garden party at Karen's Flowering Peach.

Lifts a right eyebrow, quizzically...

See what I did there? I took her street name and used it for her condo!

Eyebrow still raised and mouth quirked...

Well, I thought it was cute. So, there!

"Yes, dear. And what did you take to this little soiree? Honestly, I had thought you weren't going...?"

Yeah, but when I saw all the lovely food that folks were bringing, I decided that would be fun for slunch. The party was timed for late afternoon, you know.
And there were two kinds of meatballs and broccoli coleslaw and raspberry with dark chocolate and bruschetta and lasagna and chicken sandwiches and even crepes Suzette!

""Yes, dear. Actually, that sounds like quite a feast!

Oh, it was!

"And what did you bring? You did bring something, didn't you?"

Yes I did! I brought the Butterducks Sweet Peach Wine that I've had for awhile. As it turns out, I did it a favor by aging it so long! It was more like a peach brandy than a dessert wine. (smile)

"My goodness! How long have you had it?"

Well... I'm not sure... but I'm guessing since 2014. That's when I was there with the No Kidding!

"And the food to go along with it?"

I had thought of 'something savory', to offset the sweet. However, so many others were bringing meat that I thought that might be overload. Our hostess, Karen Sherman, had mentioned a dearth of fruits and vegetables from the appetizer listing, so I took that as my cue! Mandarin orange slices, garbanzos, petite & diced unsalted tomatoes, and unsalted kernel corn - and every bit of it from a can! Chilled, I christened it "Southern Orange Salad". That's it on the table, in the clear container with the blue lid.

I even had leftovers to bring home for the bfe! He's been floating in a balloon over Columbus O-hi-O this weekend, performing a wedding for his friend Jeannette.

"I see. I do know that he likes those black bean dishes. I hope he'll like that, too."

Oh, I think he will. And if not, I'll still eat it!
One of the best conversations I had today was with George, a fellow I'd never met before, and MarshaD. As I was talking with him about the Flannery O'Connor meetup and Savannah, she joined in. Next thing I know, we're talking about Italy, where she and he had once lived. Then they began talking Italian! Quite cool!

"That sounds like a lovely time!"

Yes, it truly was!
I thank You, God, for such lovely post-hurricane weather!

gone gone gone she's been gone so long she's been gone gone gone so long

On Wednesday evening, I was straightening up the Ocean Room, listening to Chilliwack. The bfe was doing school work and had assured me that the music would not disturb him.
So, there I was, listening to the cassette, and, amazingly, singing along with the songs.
I had not listened to this music in many, many years - and yet, the lyrics came as easily to me as breathing.
Especially for this 1981 hit, "My Girl (Gone, Gone, Gone)".
At the time I first heard it, it was just a catchy dance song.
No longer.
It brings Mama to mind, of course.

"Gone, gone, gone, she's been gone so long, she's been gone, gone, gone so long.
Wonder if I'm ever gonna see my girl...
My girl, she was the world to me,
she's gone away across the sea,
my girl is just a memory,
she's been so long away."

I guess that's hardly surprising, as I still think of her as "My Girl", bringing sunshine on a cloudy day, dropping pennies to guide my path.
"I've even got the month of May."
(smile)

I think listening to that tape on Wednesday jostled some nerve endings.
Mama has been on my mind even more than usual ever since.
I take that back.
Maybe, just maybe, I was prompted to randomly open that drawer of tapes on Wednesday.
Maybe, just maybe, it was not coincidence that had me grab that particular cassette.
After all, it was early on Wednesday afternoon that I had been phoned about my invention. My first thought? "I should call Mama about this!"
Instead, about two hours later, I was sending out text messages to my investors.
Then, I had come home and selected the cassette with Chilliwack on one side and Icehouse on the other.
Chilliwack's songs were those chosen for me by the universe... as the side with Icehouse was at its end.
Right songs, right place, right time.
i thank You, God.

Of course, having those songs fresh in my mind set me up to talk about Mama's death on Thursday... and, again, last night.
The Peace guy, my dear Rogue, was in town from Jet City.
Carolyn and I joined him at Betty Bombers after our shift at the Lucas was done. What an evening it had been with the Savannah Philharmonic's season opener! "Scheherazade" was, of course, the featured music of this production of "The Thousand And One Nights" and I had sat on the stairs, in my little black dress, with Inessa, closing our eyes and drinking deeply of the notes... oh, my!
Then a late dinner with Carolyn Maggi and my dear Joe, with a special guest appearance by Roy Wood...
(smile)
in a slightly squashed cowboy hat...
(SMILE)
following lots of stories from Carolyn, including the one from the night she and I had gone to a burlesque show...
(sMilE!)
what a hoot!
We were there for close to three hours, even closing the place down... and the time had flown by!
After our final hugs in the street, she had left and Joe and I had stayed talking for a while.
He was talking about his new relationship, now going on for about six months. I mentioned JinHi and Mark's 17th anniversary just last Saturday. Then I remarked that I would have been having my 25th anniversary in October, if not for the divorce ten years ago. I told him I didn't think I would ever have a 25th anniversary with anyone else, even "if I were to marry someone tomorrow" because I would have to be 84 to reach that marker. I added, "No one in my family has lived that long."
(This echoes the conversation I had with the bfe on Friday night. That was brought on because some friends have been celebrating their 25th anniversary this month... meaning they had wed in 1982, just as I had.)
Next, Joe wanted to talk about his aging parents (now 83 and 86) and just needed to vent. The hurricane had blown them into his apartment and life had been strained lately.
I told him that I honestly did not have any experience with aging parents.
That's when he asked how my parents had died.
For Mama, who died just after her 63rd birthday, I spoke of her over-production of red blood cells due to a genetic disorder. The disease eventually caused her liver to fail.
(I didn't tell him that the cirrhosis was heightened by her increased drinking the last year of her life. I had told the bfe that part, as his consumption of alcohol is at a dangerous level.)
For Daddy, who had died just after his 73rd birthday, I spoke of his duodenal cancer, discovered too late. I told of his decision to not undergo chemo or radiation, but to fully enjoy the end of his life.
Joe agreed about that being a good choice.
Then, Joe gave me one more hug, saying "I feel like I really accomplished something today."
Me, too, my dear man.
Me, too.

i thank You, God.

let the world turn without you tonight

So sang Mary Magdalene to Jesus tonight. Such a lovely sentiment! Put away the day's cares, she said, and sleep well tonight - the world will continue its travels in the universe.
And so it has, more than two thousand years later.
Where was I this evening?

Well, las tres amigas were plus one,
as Kaye had joined our merry band
for this opening night celebration
with Collective Face Ensemble!
Delayed from last week,
"Jesus Christ Superstar"
punked out splendidly with us,
determined to shine!

Did I say "punked out"?
Indeed, kind madams and sirs!
Kennedy Center at Savannah State
has been undergoing renovations
and the deconstruction was incorporated
into the show, in true David Poole style,
with colorful graffiti -
and actors' brag posters -
setting the pre-stage party mood!

Here we have Jesus at center stage,
responding to his disciplines' query
of "What's the Buzz?" with
"Strange Thing Mystifying" -
such powerful energy brought forth
by Michael Knowles!

Then enter a dour band:
the money men of the temple,
concerned about this
'King of the Jews',
making an impact on
their followers.
"This Jesus Must Die"
is their final decision.

Bah! Humbug to you,
is the response of
Jesus' followers, gathered
outside in throngs,
singing "Hosanna"
and carrying signs.
Hey sanna, too!
(smile)

After throwing trinkets
to the audience,
the merriment continued
up on the stage,
as the many followers
continued to sing
and praise their leader!
(Thanks for the glow necklace glasses -
or should I say goggles?)

Pilate knows which way
the wind is blowing,
knows that the days of
money-grubbing in the temple
are numbered and drawing to a close.
The vendors do not -
not until Jesus bursts upon
the scene, scattering their goods.

Jesus is becoming weary of the
constant onslaught of people
seeking his healing touch,
energy vampires stealing his strength.
Beset upon by a crowd of lepers,
he seeks only respite from
their cries and their hands.

Mary Magdalene comes to his emotional rescue.
Cecelia Tran Arango is amazingly honest
as a woman realizing how much Jesus means to her,
terrified of how much of her heart
she has already given to him.
As she sings, she decloaks, piece by piece,
from the persona she had once been.
I certainly understand the effect
of such a personal revelation of love.

Now, let's fast forward through the bit of nastiness wherein Judas allows the men of the temple to purchase his soul.
Judas believes he is doing the right thing - as Dan Finn is sure to convey to us -
but he is just a man, a man who follows too closely to the ways and whims of society, a society that dictates who is to be friended and who is to be shunned.
(shudder)
Instead, I've gone straight to the start of the second act, with a great pizza party thrown by Jesus for the disciplines.
Not quite as Leonardo da Vinci portrayed it... but a nice homage to that painting!
(Thanks for the slow-motion setup that allowed me to catch this, y'all!)

As they near the end of this last supper,
Jesus confronts Peter,
proclaiming him to be his denier,
and Jesus confronts Judas,
proclaiming him to be his betrayer,
not in an accusatory manner,
but as a foreshadowing truth
of a destiny which cannot be avoided.
Judas storms off, remaining behind
the scene of the man and his followers.

Not long after, Judas bestows
his kiss of betrayal upon the Christ's lips.
Hauled off in shackles,
and denied as known by Peter,
Jesus is taken before Pilate...
who sends him to Herod for pardon.

Pardon?
Oh, no, no, no, says Herod!
Join in our merriment!
Forsake your principles
and partake of debauchery!
Jesus declines...

... and is again hauled before Pilate,
a man imbued with soul by Mark Rand.
Pilate asks the people what they want done -
"kill him! Crucify him!" is the response.
Reluctant to kill this man, whose only crime
seems to be his claim as the son of God,
the governor chooses a milder punishment...

... if thirty-nine lashes
of a slashing whip can be regarded
as a 'milder' punishment.
Not satisfied, the people continue
to clamor for the death of Jesus.
Judas, realizing his error
and his love for the man,
has already taken his own life.

A crown of thorns is
thrust upon the head of the man
once called King of the Jews.
We all know how this one ends.
No reprieve from the dire sentence:
death by crucifixion,
after being paraded through the streets
before the jeering crowd that once
clung to him for succor.
(If you want to see that, GO TO THE SHOW!)

My thanks to Collective Face Ensemble for such an inspirational retelling of this tale!
My thanks to David Poole for allowing - no, ENCOURAGING - folks to take photographs!
My thanks to Barbara and Sandy and Kaye for joining me -
and to Kathy Hodges for passing on to me the cool goggles!

i thank You, God, for most this amazing day...

six miles. in the snow. barefoot.

But that was not the most heart-breaking part of "Wind River".

At the end of the film, the statement appeared that "there are no statistics on missing Native American women".
As harsh as that is, it was not the most heart-breaking part, either.

The rape of the teenager, the beating death of her boyfriend, her death from burst lungs as she ran from the evil-doers - all very bad situations to watch. However, thanks to so many crime shows on television, these vignettes are not new and their sting has been softened by oft repetition in plot lines.

What did I find the most heart-wrenching?
What caused me to stay in the darkened cinema, sobbing, as the end credits rolled?
What factor led me to sit in my car, continuing to cry, for another thirty minutes before going home?

The guilt taken on by loved ones left behind by death.

I know that guilt.
I still feel guilt that I didn't realize in time that Mama was killing herself.
Her increased drinking of alcohol started after a chance discussion of "Leaving Las Vegas". She had thought it would be a painful way to die, but I had informed her "not for the drinker, as the liver has no nerve endings. It's only painful for those left behind."
I still feel guilt about telling her that.
I still feel guilt for not asking hospice to transfer her to my house from the hospital.
It made more sense for her to go to her home with Frank, my stepdad, as his two daughters were both nurses.
I still feel guilt for not spending more time with her there, during those last few days of her life...
guilt for not foreseeing and somehow preventing her death.

In my heart, I know that I cannot be held to blame for her death...
but I feel the guilt, still.

In "Wind River", two fathers are tortured with guilt for their daughters' deaths.
Neither of them could have reasonably prevented those deaths... but they feel the guilt, still.

Martin Hanson (played stoically by Gil Birmingham) is the father of Natalie, the 18-year-old at the center of this film. He feels guilty for allowing his grown daughter to make her own choices, to live her own life. He knows that others blame him and his wife for her death, for not micro-managing every aspect of the young woman's life.
He was doing the right thing, allowing his daughter to grow up into a woman...
but death intervened and guilt over her loss is consuming his life...
guilt for not somehow foreseeing and preventing her death.

Cory Lambert (played with a different stoicism by Jeremy Renner) is the father of Emily, a fifteen-year-old who was best friends with the Hanson daughter. He and his wife had a rare overnight away from their two children and had returned to find Emily missing. Her body was found days later, twenty miles from home. That was three years earlier than this time, but he still carried the guilt.
He had been doing the right thing, taking advantage of a rare night off to enjoy a date with his wife...
but he felt he had blinked and allowed his daughter to be stolen and killed.
The grief had consumed their marriage and almost his life...
guilt for not somehow foreseeing and preventing her death.

Heart-breaking to watch...
heart-breaking to relive my own loss...
heart-breaking.

invention progress report: website acquired

Well, alrighty then!
Heather Bateman, of the MIPA marketing team, just called with most excellent news!
On August 21, she had emailed a questionaire concerning what website name I would like for my invention.
By August 25, I had an answer for her.
The name had popped into my head first thing that morning.
I had heard nothing more and was planning to send out a query, but she beat me to it.
The website name has been obtained!
As I told Heather, this was such glorious news to receive after this Irma-induced turmoil!
Now to spread the word to my investors - I definitely want to share this with them!

I'll also tell them about the copyright.
That was applied for on May 24, 2017.
I hope to hear back about it from the United States Copyright Office sometime around Thanksgiving, at the earliest. Six to eight months from filing date - that seems like a long time, but it's flying by!

One more thing to share will be concerning the patent itself.
After more than two months of proposed drawings from MIPA, with me making corrections and clarifications each time, the Provisional Patent Application was finalized and filed on August 18, 2017.
That means my invention has now achieved 'patent pending' status!
I hope to soon receive the receipt from the United States Patent and Trademark Office. That requires three to five weeks...and it's been about that long.

Now, to await a call from Kelsey later this week.
She is the one at MIPA who will design the website and introduce it to the public.
I am so excited!!!

i thank You, God!

thanks, Frank

Yesterday, I went in search of diversion... and bright lights, to tell the truth.
My electricity had gone out about 1 PM on Tuesday and was still out when I awoke.
Drats.
At least the sky had a bit of blue and I could still make coffee.
(smile)
What did I do last night in the dark?
Well, I worked on crossword puzzles by flashlight. That certainly took a while.

Then I played Left Hand versus Right Hand Scrabble.
You know, that long-time favorite game that I modified for single player mode during last year's hurricane scare?
Left Hand went first...
and what a word to begin the game!
"DECODER" - I was reminded of the pH lab in Chem1151, when I tell my students to use the indicator table as their 'magic decoder ring'!

That was the first - and only - time that all seven tiles were used all at once.
Some of the words that followed were extremely short (ad, for, web, bun), but others were rarer and very nice to see (funky, meager, crave, taper, weir).
Then there was "loser", for me and the GOTG bunch -
I really liked that!
(smile)

About this time last night, I went out for a walk.
The street lights were on, as were the lights in houses across the park and on one section of my street.
I walked as far as the street lights went... which wasn't that far after all.
The rest of my subdivision didn't even have that blessing from Georgia Power.
When I returned home, I grabbed one of my 'chairs in a bag', parked it under the street light near my front yard... and sat right there and finished reading the book I'd started earlier.
The young police officer driving through paused to make sure I was okay.
I think he really liked what I was doing...
making lemonade from lemons.
(smile)

This morning, though, I needed to do something, anything.
After all, today was Tuesday.
Kevin had evacuated with his pastry chef and her mom and their four cats.
The other members of las tres amigas had also evacuated, so no help there.
The bfe was still partying with Erica and her mom, so he wouldn't be filling the void, either.
So, what did I do?
I took a shower with the last hot water, dressed in my green dress, and went out to see the world.
That is, I went in search of movies and bright lights.

I didn't find an open cinema, but I did catch the
muted gleam of two pennies.
They were fairly close to each other,
and by coincidence on the driver's side of my car,
in the parking lot at Spotlight Cinema.
I had seen that lights were on in the theater,
so I had parked and walked up to the door.
No one inside...
but I was at the right place at the right time.

I then drove on to the cinema on Stephenson - no lights at all.
Southside to the Regal and Wynnsong - dark buildings with empty parking lots.
The Publix was bright and cheery - even though the shopping carts had been stolen.
No sushi, so I bought smoked gouda mac'n'cheese for lunch today, as well as crunchy kettle chips and fried chicken nuggets and a nice cold bottle of Coke.
Home again, I ate lunch, read a magazine... and started getting antsy.
Over to the park I walked, stacking up downed branches by the roadside for about an hour.
It was almost 4 pm - movie time - Tuesday - aarrrgggghhhhhh!
Would the Victory Cinema be open?
Maybe...???
Great googlie ooglie: it was!
After thanking them for being open - and being the only non-drinking option in town - I settled in for a double-header evening of Tuesday normalcy.
My many thanks, Frank Theatres!

The first was "Spiderman: Homecoming",
with a Coca-Cola ICEE and popcorn.
Delightful!
I followed that with "The Dark Tower",
selecting a dinner of nacho cheese and
tortilla chips, with diet Coke.
Wonderful!
And what a superb match-up these two films actually were! Both showcased teen boys growing into their new-found strengths and accepting responsibility for their choices and actions. Both had non-family teachers as role models for decision-making.
I decided to stop my movie-spree at two - like my pennies - and venture home again.
Guess what?
The electricity was back on at my house!
Hooray!
I had left two light switches in the 'on' position and my red curtains glowed with their light - hallelujah!
Hallelujah.
i thank You, God.

as the boys scouts would say...

Always be prepared.
I won't lie and say I'm totally prepared for a hurricane to strike...
because you and I know that would not be true...
but I'm much better, emotionally, than I was last October.
Definite progress.
I've washed clothes - I even packed a bag with panties and important stuff - and have had it ready and waiting on the couch ever since the bfe left for his hurricane party with Erica and her mom.

In the front yard, I took my time and mowed what remained needing so on Thursday.
Also on Thursday, I took myself out for ceviche and churros at Jalapenos, just as I had done on Wednesday after class. This time, I was solo, instead of with Barbara, and I went to the one in Sandfly. This time, I also had a small margarita.
That night, on my way home, I stopped for milk and cereal and vanilla wafers - a special treat.

On Friday, I took a drive to the Thunderbolt area, in search of my middle brother.
I still have possession of the phone I bought for him in July.
After cruising slowly through the Home Depot shopping center, with my car window open, I didn't hear or see him.
I repeated my slow travels at McAlpin Square, then drove to Bonaventure.
The cemetery was locked up tight at 3 o'clock in the afternoon. It's usually open until 5 PM.
I wandered up Skidaway Road, then went into the Chick-Fil-A shopping center.
Still no sign of him.
Back on Victory Drive, windows still open, I searched the east-going side of the street.
As I reached the liquor store, I popped in.
About ten minutes later, I had COA de Jima Reposada tequila in a brown paper bag. The margarita had definitely been quite relaxing and I thought some sipping liquor from agaves azul was in order.
(My lower back agreed last night. That old injury is where my stress first goes.)
Coming back toward Skidaway, I saw a fellow sitting in front of the Bi-Lo... was it Ronnie? I went in for a closer look. Skinny, scraggly gray beard... but not a white man.
Drats.
Back to home I went, back to the physicist's company, back to the Savannah Jeff's 4-cheese, Newman's Own, pizza, deciding to eat it while he weather was cooler and the electricity was still on.
Perfect! Especially with a chilled glass of my Lactaid milk!
We even watched a movie he didn't know, "Get Hard", and laughed and relaxed, mellowing and awaiting today.

Why so mellow?
Irma had continued on the same path all day long.
All day long.
The reports from NOAA had displayed the same course for the Cape Verde lass: north by northwest.
She certainly seemed to know where she wanted to go.

This is from the 11 AM report.

Six hours later, here is the late afternoon forecast.

Then, at 11 PM, I looked for the last time last night.
Yes, she was still on her same course.
Well, actually, she was veering slightly more to the west as she dragged her dress past Cuba at last.
More to the west was more to my liking.
I slept very well, for the first time in several days.

This morning, while moving some items off the lowest shelf of the entertainment center, I stumbled upon several old photo pages, loose and upright.
They were Frank's copies of his wedding to my mother, back in September of 1984.
I spent the next two hours scanning them and them posted them on facebook for my family and friends.
Mama had me, home six months from the US Navy, as her maid of honor.

She had one grandchild,
my first niece, Christina,
my brother Ronnie's daughter.
Frank had one grandchild, too,
my nephew Stephen,
my Stepsister Susan's son.
What a bright spot in my morning!


Today, after the bfe left, I've continued making ice in plastic storage containers, placing the huge blocks into my big, rolling, cooler, in anticipation of the electricity going off.
I'm not sure that it will, mind you, but I want to be prepared.
The big blocks, with less exposed surface area than ice from the ice-maker or bagged ice, will definitely have more staying power, in case of an extended power outage.
I've been grading lab papers, too.
That, for sure, is busy work... but it's nice to have the time to do so at a leisurely pace.

Now, the evening report is hot off the internet 'presses'.
Rain will come - 3 to 8 Inches, with isolated 12" cloudbursts - beginning about 2 AM and going on through noon.
Tropical storm gusts up to 63 miles per hour will accompany the rainfall.
So, I'll keep my guard up...
and say a prayer for my blue-sky Penny and my Aunt Linda as they ride out far worse in Tallahassee...
and say a prayer for my brother Smitty out on Dutch Island... and my brother Tony in north Georgia...
and for my brother Ronnie, wherever he may be...
and for all the folks I know and love, and for those who know and love me...
i thank You, God.

Now, for some dinner, a hot shower, and a distracting movie...
and perhaps a quiet night's rest, too.

irma

Yesterday, Armstrong closed its doors at 5:00 PM, planning to not re-open until next Wednesday.
SCAD had already closed its doors on Tuesday, postponing their first week of classes.
By day's end, Savannah Tech will also close until some time next week.
Everyone had been told that we would have to wait until Thursday before we would have a better idea of how Hurricane Irma was going to impact our area.
It seemed most folks would rather not do so.
I know I have been tormented by remembrances of the effect of last year's bully boy.
Should I stay or should I go?
If I go, in which direction?
No one knew, of course.
Yesterday, Irma seemed to have her eye dead set on Savannah.
That meant north or west would be preferred.
At least my hands are in good shape and I will be able to drive - but, to where?
I took myself to "Valley of Bones" in the afternoon, then "Home Again" last night.
One was a modern western with T. Rex bones instead of gold as the treasure sought.
The other was a woman facing midlife decisions and finding a new support group, with Carole King's song wrapping it all up at the end.
Both were very nice distractions from the madness in my head and swirling all around.

***** ***** ***** ***** *****

This morning, Irma's path has markedly changed.
Savannah will still catch the edges of her dress as she storms past, but we will not be tromped on.
Here's the updated prediction from the National Hurricane Center and from Pat Prokop's page.

And here is my message from The Universe:

"3:48 AM (7 hours ago)
It is OK. You are all right. You needn't second guess anymore, Faustina.
Everyone is safe. Nothing "bad" is going to happen. All of the promises have been kept.
And you could not possibly be more adored.
By me,
The Universe"

i thank You, God.

Now, I have clothes to wash and sales taxes to work on and papers to grade...
and, yes, perhaps even a movie later on.
(smile)

lucas love!

Hip-hip-hooray!
On this Kevin-less Tuesday, I was treated to a grand display of love by the Lucas Theatre!
In honor of all of us volunteer ushers - and our patience during the transition this year - we were given lots of swag, lots of food, and.... "La La Land"!
That's right! We had all voted on which movie we'd like to see again and my first choice won out!
I sat way up in the front of the theatre, so I could sing along and dance in my seat and not distract folks - well, not distract them too much!
(smile)
As for swag, I walked away with a lovely ball cap, two packages of Lucas-themed note cards, and four koozies, two of each color.
(smile)
But, wait!
There's more!
(smile)
Katie had listened to my plea for lactose-free pizza! And get this - none of the other lactose-intolerant folks there wanted the plain 'cheese' pizza, scarfing up the small veggie-laden pie before i could get any of it.
All's well that ends well, though...
I walked away with the rest of the mellow Mushroom goodie!
Hip-hip-hooray!
It'll be pizza for breakfast tomorrow, my dearies!
(SMILE!!!)

happy 40th, squirrel mistress!

Can you believe that Christa 'El Dorado' has completed her fourth decade on Earth?
I know, I know, it seems like quite a stretch... but 'tis true!
This evening, las tres amigas journeyed to Pooler-where-it's-cooler to help her celebrate having attained that milestone.
That means the watching of bad movies, of course!
(smile)
The one she chose for our 'pleasure' was an especially bad one - I mean, like worthy of being part of Jim Reed's Psychotronic Film Society.
If you ever get the chance, do NOT partake of "Birdemic 2: The Resurrection".
Seriously...
unless you are surrounded by folks willing to help you make fun of the bad acting, weak story, and terrible CGI work on the attacking eagles and vultures.
Fortunately, this was not our first rodeo with Christa! We all had a blast!
i thank You, God!

a snorkel and swim goggles walk into a church...

on a Communion Sunday..
accompanied by a waterproof iPod...

Trust me, you have not heard this one before!

Yes, Reverend Billy is back in the pulpit again...
he's b-a-a-a-c-k-k-k-k!
(smile)
I only wish Steven Tyler and the boys could have been there this morning -
what fun they would have had!
No worries, though. The sermon can be heard, and seen, right here.
You know, he's been off on sabbatical this summer, though not for the five months the bfe had.
I think folks at Asbury Memorial UMC could not have withstood that long an absence by Billy Hester.
Truly.
I know I played hooky almost the whole summer... almost.
But of course I was there today!
How could I resist learning about "The Aquatics of God"?
Seriously?!
And did I learn something?
But of course I did!
I learned that God is in the details, brought forth by those who know and love us.
Billy wanted to get in better physical shape this summer and chose swimming as his activity.
However, a neck injury made it painful for him to lift his head out of the water to breathe between strokes.
Enter Iris Dayoub with the swim snorkel, a device that allows continuous swimming, face-down.
Hallelujah!
Then another problem arose: the chlorine made his eyes ache with pain.
Preston Hodges came forth with the cure: oversized swim goggles that hugged Billy's face securely.
Hallelujah!
All revved up and ready to go, Billy found himself still struggling. Sure, he could swim now, but it was taking so very much time and he was so very s l o w...
until he noticed that a woman with earbuds and a waterproof music box was doing her laps effortlessly.
Then his wife put on fifteen of his favorite songs and he was good to go!
Hallelujah!
And he found that he swam forty-five minutes without tiring, as opposed to the arduous fifteen minute sessions he initially had.
And he found himself renewed spiritually and emotionally, as well as physically.
And he found a link between the snorkel - breath - with God the Creator, Yahweh, the one who brought life to all.
And he found a link between the goggles - vision - and God the Christ, who came showing God's love, showing us how we should love each other, helping us see the goal.
And he found a link between the music in his ears - rhythm - and God the Holy Spirit, the Advocate, The Helper, the Comforter.
Thank you, Billy, for sharing your revelations with us.
Thank you for encouraging us to all find our Aquatic Trinity, our center in our minds, hearts, and lives.
i thank You, God, for this minister and this church.

come a little bit closer, you could be mine

"In a little rest stop
just the other side of the border
(from Florida),
it was sitting there luring me in
and making my mouth water
(and heart quiver)

So I started walking its way
but it belonged to that lobby there
and I knew, yes I knew I should leave
but I heard it say, yeah,
(yeah)

Come a little bit closer
you're a loser like us
seeking to save the world
come a little bit closer
and sit down beside these strong sexy men."

I do hope Tommy Boyce and Bobby Hart don't mind that I've hijacked their lyric frame and melody...
but I can't help myself!
"Come A Little Bit Closer" has always been close to my heart... and so are Quill and Yondu!

And there I was, fresh from
Guardians Day of Marvel Week,
inundated with the sagas
of the Guardians of the Galaxy,
having seen both movies,
back to back,
Thursday afternoon.
Oh, my!

And then I had seen Ryan Reynolds
and Samuel L. Jackson again,
doing their thing, once more,
and even had buffalo sauce
and chicken fingers
and waffle fries
with my free movie.
Oh, my!

And I had even been successful in my quest
to wrest Agnes' unicorn
away from Dave & Buster's,
thanks to the Pirates game
granting me its greatest treasure
of 1000 tickets
for a single spin.
Oh, my!


And then... marvel of marvels, I found yesterday that the Georgia Welcome Center still had the "GOTG:V2" display bench!
Oh, my, my, my!
Everything had fallen in place so nicely, just as I had hoped!
i thank You, God!
When I asked the two women manning the counter at the Welcome Center if I could join their list of folks wanting the bench, I was told that no one else had even asked about it - marvel of marvels!
So, they now have my name and address and phone number and email address...
and I await the call to come and fetch it,
like that will actually happen,
like the hopeful romantic I am.
Oh, my, my, my!
Now... who to ask for transport?
Someone with a truck...
someone who knows my madness for this ragtag bunch...
someone who loves me and will do this as a favor...
Smitty?
Definitely a possibility, since he's my brother.
Kevin?
Well, he most def knows my madness side.
Mike?
Hmmm... he does this sort of work on the side...
and he could learn of my madness...
and he even brought up the possible trip tonight at Sweet Potatoes...
when he chose an empty seat beside me, rather than two other bare chairs...
making the other Boomers look askance at me and each other...
especially when I helped myself to a bit of his pecan pie...
(smile)
I think life may be about to get pretty interesting.
His birthday is later this month...
I'll have to ask him when...
maybe we can go do karaoke again...
'cause he was braggin' on me to Karen and Mary and Karen H...
and that was very nice.
(smile)

i thank You, God.
I appreciate the penny, too, when I was talking to Willie earlier today.
That was all very nice, too.