so easily called away

I may not be Uncle Albert, but I am Aunt Tina.
When a niece or nephew calls, I respond.
Even if that title "Nephew" is an honorific and not a relation by birth or blood.
Even if that title "Nephew" was bestowed as a barrier to allow my two laws of sexual intercourse to keep me from making passes at a guy in glasses who is the same age as my first niece.
Sigh.

He is now dating yet another young woman, with this one having gotten to the "in a relationship with" status on facebook. He's been wanting me to vet her since the Jason Isbell concert on April 1st.
No foolin'.
How can I recall the date so clearly?
I was sitting in my car, passing a little time between my stint as luncheon hostess and venue usher for the Southern rock concert on that date. I had snagged a prime parking spot and had opted to hang out downtown rather than go home between my shifts.
He had just had a date with his A&P2 lab partner and wanted to know when I could meet her.
I had told him I would be willing after they hit the two-month mark.
I eventually agreed to six weeks as the earliest that I would meet her.

After all, he's had me meet the last two fairly early on.
The German-Peruvian was his flame in December and January. That fire had been so bright that I had even invited them to dinner at my house one Tuesday in January, feasting all on Cornish game hens.
The beginning of February - and onset of the semester - had seen an end to that budding romance. The stresses of juggling classwork, house-buying, and care for her mother had become too overwhelming for her and she had called for a halt.
Then a Derby Devil skated into his life! Well, surfaced on plentyoffish, actually. I officially met her at Buffalo Wild Wings one night, though she only infringed on the dinner portion of "Tina Tuesday". And I ended up at the same improv show they were attending one night, quite by accident, and we had a lovely time with Prince memories!
Then she was abruptly gone from his life.
She was looking for a husband and family; the running bear was not looking to become a parent in the near future.
He had already been faced with that possibility in what turned out to be a swing/and/a/miss with a dental hygienist late last year.

him: So, I'm texting the cute dental hygienist (who was non-consensual cuddling the poodle) and she seems great. Then she is all...by the way...I might be a little pregnant by my ex-boyfriend, but it's a miracle, because after I had cancer...

me: Congratulations! Instant family. Tho that "little bit pregnant" is certainly a puzzler. :-)

him: #worstpeptalkever

me: Lol! Hey, you never know. At least you know she rides bareback.

him: #evenworsepeptalk

me: Sweet! My record is secured for the top two spots!

him: I'm just going to block her number. Thanks.

me: Harsh.

him: Really? I've had enough with emotionally manipulative dishonest women for one lifetime.

me: So more sperm certainly will not affect the situation in any adverse way. Right?

him: Right...because what is more fun than a pregnant dental hygienist? So we're clear (re: fun) I didn't help get her pregnant.

me: Plus pregnant women get really horny. So i have heard.

him: Goodnight...Tina. (I will not be paying for this therapy session.)


Hilarious, right?
That was shortly after Hurricane Matthew hit.
So let's fast forward to a more recent past. To wit, tonight.
I had been led to believe that Cedric would be with him and the pastry chef, post Philo, for a "family reunion" at Chili's.
Nope.
That was a bit of sleight of hand via phone.
I think he suspected - and rightly so - that I would not have shown had I known the truth.
Sigh.

Yes, she is a very smart cookie (pun intended) and made the Dean's List this semester.
Yes, she is charming and can carry on a conversation almost entirely single-handedly.
I like that she likes baseball.
I like that she rose to the challenge when queried about her favorite pastry to bake.
I like that she has realistic expectations about the workload of microbiology in the four-week course this summer.

That's what I intend to tell him when he asks how I liked her.
I also will reiterate that he should not expect to see much of her this summer.
We'll have to see how that plays out.