gettin' schooled on cousins

I'm still not convinced that I "get" it, but you can't blame the Rogue.

He really did try to explain it to me on fb last weekend.

 

Joe Guy: This gentleman [in the photo],  Bob Guy, is my grandfather's last surviving 1st cousin. Happy Birthday!

Faustina Smith: So, he's your third cousin? Is that right?

Joe Guy: Faustina, he's my first cousin twice removed.

Faustina Smith: Man, just when I thought I had a handle on that...

Joe Guy: C'mon, you're a Southerner! We live in the land of cousins, you gotta know these things, lol

Faustina Smith: Yeah, well, I don't. I thought all that "removed" stuff was for your cousin's cousin from their other side of the family. I've been working on genealogy and really, truly thought I finally "got" it about second to fifth cousins. I feel like I need a chart about this stuff.

Joe Guy: 1st cousins share a common set of grandparents. 2nd cousins share a common set of great grandparents. 3rd cousins a common pair of great great grandparents. The 'removed' part comes when you're from different generations. So my 1st cousin's children are my first cousins once removed. Their children are first cousins twice removed. When it really becomes confusing is when there are multiple marriages!
 

Oh, so that's when it becomes confusing???

Shiite.

 

Even that chart from familysearch.org is a bit challenging to me.

Let me start with what I do know: my first cousins were born to my parents' siblings.

That's a real thing, something I grew up knowing.

I got that!

However, as per that chart and that site, Penny and Beverly are my first cousins - literally and figuratively - because I share a set of grandparents with each.

With Penny, it's my maternal grandparents, while with Beverly it would be the paternal ones.

And that, I do believe, is the problem with my understanding the concept.

I never knew Daddy's parents.

His mom had died when he was only 9 years old; his dad had left some years before that.

So, when it came to grandparents, I only ever had the one set.

Penny is my cousin because her mom and my Mama were sisters.

Beverly is my cousin because her mom and my Daddy were sister and brother.

I missed that whole thing about first cousins having to have a grandparent in common.

So, growing up, I thought my cousins were all cousins with each other, too.

Nope.

The children of Mama, Aunt Linda, and Uncle Jimmy are all cousins with each other because those children all share Lorena and Dick Lee as grandparents.

The children of Daddy and Aunt Barbara are all cousins with each other because those children all share Henry and Elizabeth Smith as grandparents.

So, I have two maternal cousins from Aunt Linda and seven maternal cousins from Uncle Jimmy (not counting two stepcousins from him, if that is such a thing), for a total of 9.

But I only have three paternal cousins from Aunt Barbara.

Now, if Henry Smith remarried and had more children, then they would be my cousins, too.

Okay, I've "got" it so far.

So what is my relationship to Lulu, my Great-Uncle Sam's daughter?

Well, I had thought she was my first cousin, too... but that's wrong.

Sam and Lorena were brother and sister, having the same parents, who are Lulu's grandparents, as well as Mama's grandparents, so my mother and Lulu were first cousins.

Ack!

So, Lulu is my second cousin... right?

That's not correct.

Lulu is my first cousin once removed.

Sam was her father and he was my Grand-Uncle (apparently that comes before "Great", so I've been calling myself Great-Aunt when I should have said Grand-Aunt).

That means there's a generation between Lulu and me... hence, "once removed".

Hmmm... so my cousin Penny's son, Jacob, is my second cousin?

Nope.

Jacob's maternal great-grandparents and my maternal grandparents.

That means there's a generation between us and he's a first cousin once removed, too.

Then who would be my second cousins???

Well, those would be Lulu's sons, as I would share great-grandparents (the Granthams, on my maternal side and her paternal side) with them.

Wow.

I'm glad I have myheritage.com to figure out all of that for me and to just tell me who matches and type of cousin they are.

I just need to look at it as a puzzle, so I can analyze it...

'cause that's what I do...

but it's easier when I can pin it down with names of people I know.